Monday, October 5, 2009

The 5 Love Languages: Bogus or not?

Over the weekend I got to spend time with my family. It was fun, especially listening to my dad and grandpa talk A LOT. Just kidding pops 1 and 2.

Anyway, a friend Christina, who is a social worker and a certified relationship counselor (hahaha. kidding on that one) enlightened me on the concept of the 5 Love Languages. Basically, this marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman wrote this book after he was tired of hearing all these couples complain about not understanding their significant others. Its premise is that there are 5 different languages of love that people speak: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. The language you speak defines what you see love as. Chapman believes that many couples get into problems because their languages don't match up.

Example: Say you really feel warm and fuzzy when your significant other buys you chocolate; that is because you approximate gifts with love. But what if you buy your hubby socks and he is left feeling unloved and dissatisfied. That is because gifts are not one of his languages of love. Even if you see it as an expression of love, he does not. Big problem, right?

I took the test last week, despite the lack of a significant other (I know you are thinking pathetic, because I know I am!) I have two primary languages of love since they were basically on equal ground: Acts of Service and Quality Time.

I gave the test to both my parents over the weekend. They both got Act of Service as their primary language. Good marriage=similar language of love?

Maybe. But I am a little skeptical. I mean, how many people out there are really Gifts (no offense)? And look at the book's cover. Is that corny or what? Who says "mate" anymore?

Whether you believe it or not, it was still fun to take it and see the result.
Take it here.

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