Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dentist Horror

I think they should make a film about killer dentists. You know why? Because dentists suck! I don't think they realize the pain and agony they put people through, honestly I don't.

Recently, I went to the dentist's office for the bi-annual cleaning/check-up. I was a little worried that I had a cavity because one of my teeth has been extra sensitive the past couple of months. Well, it turns out I did not have a cavity (thank God!). This is most likely NOT due to the fact that I have good oral hygiene (I don't...) but instead due to the fact that I cannot handle pain, needles, especially in my mouth. Thus, I am convinced I will never have a cavity because I would just roll up into a ball on the dentist's semi-clean floor and start screaming (which would be too embarrassing to fathom).

My experience, despite the lack of cavity-horror/dentist-torture, was still pretty dang horrifying. First off, the hygienist AND dentist kept asking me questions. Now, I don't know about you, but how many people can answer 'What their major' is with their mouth full of metal prongs and a unknown chalky-like substance? It's next to impossible. Why do they even try? So I have to attempt to be polite and answer with my mouth full, the result being that I spew out all said liquid agents around the office and bite down nastily on the metal dental torture device.

The other thing that really sucked was that the hygienist snapped the cemented-on, back, bottom retainer thing that has been permanently in my mouth ever since I got by braces off in 8th grade. How does one even do that? This was definitely evidence that some people (like sadists and dental hygienists) get waaayy too excited when torturing new victims.

And to top it all off? I have to get my two wisdom teeth removed. Oh joy! I think I may just die right now.


Becky Beazer said...

Don't worry, krystal. take mary with you and have her video tape you coming out of wisdom teeth surgery, and then post it on youtube (like julie did for me). the result might be entertaining :)

Kelly Downs said...

OK..I KNOW YOU CANNOT HANDLE NEEDLES SO HAVE SOMEONE KNOCK YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A HEAVY OBJECT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE DENTIST'S CHAIR FIRST, THEN THEY CAN GIVE THE SHOTS A TRY. Seriously, if you bring a good looking guy into the room maybe you could think of how embarressed you'd be to make a sceen in front of him and that would work just as well! Good luck. BTW...did they fix that retainer for you? Make them.

The Blogsmith said...

lol. I need to read these posts more often. I just went to the dentist and felt great! I hadnt gone in a VERY long time (I won't mention how long) and came back with 0 cavities, and I still havent nor plan to have any wisdom teeth pulled...

You know they talk to you just to keep you calm. I've actually heard about dentists that use music to calm you up. Just bring in your iPod next time and listen to it while you have metal hooks picking away at your gums and random gum suctioning moments when they stick that tube in your mouth. I think it'd work!

And they do have evil dentists in movies. Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors? I rest my case. :)