It was well worth the wait

I know I haven't blogged in a very long time (emphasis on very) but I've been busy with many things, like moving to a new apartment, tutoring, working full time, going to Las Vegas, being sick with swine flu... (OK just the normal flu...)
But I wanted to share two things.

One is that it will be my goal to write on my blog at least twice a week. This is going to be hard because I really have next to no free time. BUT, it is my goal.

Second...today I learned that my family is moving to San Diego, California in June or July of this year. This means they will live over 8,000 miles closer to me than they did before! And, now they will live near a beach. Finally. I miss my family.

Change, Oh how you disarm me...

I've been thinking a lot recently about change, its meaning, its purpose, its aftereffects. My own personal battle with and against change is complicated. Growing up, anyone could probably tell you how much I despised change in all its forms. Most of all, I hated life-altering change. The kind that rips your life into little shreds and expects you to form a new picture out of the unrecognizable pieces. In my life, this change came in the form of the constant and dreaded moves my family would take every couple of years. We were a family of gypsies, and believe me when I tell you, it was not romantic, mysterious, or even remotely something to be wished for. Without a homeland, without that geographical center with which is identify with, I often felt lost and alone.
Growing up I hoped so much for consistency that I actually believed it was what could and would make me happy with my life. The funny thing about life, though, is that those things that made you who you are today, even the things you fought against, will always be a part of you, no matter how hard you try to push them out of existence. It took me a long time to realize that change was my biggest consistency, and that it, more than a lot of the things I wanted and dreamed for, had come to define who I was as an individual.
Which brings me to where I am now. After living in Singapore for five months, I, for perhaps the first time in my adult life, made the consciouses choice to facilitate the specific change that I have been fighting my whole life against. And now I am sitting here, once again in Utah of all places, knowing full well that I chose to be here, I chose to pick up and leave. And I didn't dread it. I didn't resent it. I wanted it. And I wanted it bad.
Who knows? Maybe my lack of landedness has create a monster I will never be able to rid myself of. Maybe change will really haunt me all my life. But then again, maybe change will be the shade that makes life worth living.

Moving

I will, on the 24th of September, be flying back to the States. And where am I going? Well, Provo, Utah of course. A little surprising considering all I wanted to do was get away from there, but I figure I'll give it another go. And if I hate it again, well that's fine. There's nothing holding me in the bubble. It is escapable...right?

Anyway, I'll be looking for a part-time or full-time job so I can make money while I work on Grad school prep and my Peace Corps application. I figure I'll start going for both things and if they both work out, great! I'll have more options. Anyone have any GRE advice? Study materials they're not using anymore?

A tribute

I love my family and friends. Ever since I announced that I am moving to the States and am clueless as to where to live or even how to live, I have had many, many beautiful, generous people offer their homes and support to me. Humankind's ability for love and kindness amazes me, it really does. Sometimes I forget about all the good in this world, as I'm sure we all do from time to time. There really is more good than we can recognize. And that is definitely something I've learned over the past couple of weeks. So thanks. To my truly amazing family and friends. You guys really do make me feel like we are all in this together.

The Big move to....where?

I realized I haven't written lately about anything actually going on in my life. There were many reasons for this. Mainly, I was going through a hard time emotionally. If anyone else has at some point in their life spent a good deal of time on a job hunt, they understand what I'm talking about. I never knew it would be so hard. And I'm not talking about actually finding a job. I'm talking about figuring out what job you want and where to go to find it. The how is important, we all know this. But I've found it a little easier to answer than the other two.

A couple of days ago I found out that I am going to have to leave the country. One, because I'm only on a tourist's visa, and two, because that tourist's visa is preventing me from getting any valuable work here in Singapore. I never thought the technical side of moving to a country where one is not a citizen would be so difficult to figure out. A word to the wise for anyone who is thinking of moving to a foreign country for work--get the job secured before you move there. Believe me, this is important!

The conclusion of this whole Singapore job experience has been coming on for about a month. I begin to feel I'm not supposed to be here. That its not good for me to be here. That I need to leave. I had pretty much given up my job hunt. I made one last half-hearted attempt at my search when I applied for an internship which I actually really did want (once I found out what I would be doing). The sorry end came when I was informed I couldn't get the internship because I was a foreigner, and they didn't want to fill a spot that a Singaporean could rightly take. I wasn't angry. It actually made sense. But I knew it was over.

So now here I am, ready to leave and yet reluctant to go. The biggest question on my mind is where? And how? With my resources at an all time low, I am very limited in my options. That still hasn't made it any easier for me to decide. How do you chose something when your prevented from seeing the ending?

I know to a certain extent what I want. I would love to work as a writer or an editor or even in public relations for a publishing, media, or creative company. And I would love suggestions from anyone who knows about a publishing company or knows someone who works for/in a profession similar to the above description.

Any advice is good advice, especially coming from all my smart family and friends! So please, bring it on, anything! Please...