All of these things are comfortable and nice. They are things I have not had in quite some time. Some are things I thought necessary. Others helped me feel important. None compare to what I had in Thailand.
I always hear authoritative-type people say "The heart grows fonder with time" (or is it "distance"). I hope this is not the case. Because I don't think my heart can handle anymore where Thailand is concerned. 'I apologize', I would say to my the feeling side of myself, 'but my heart is filled to capacity. There is no room.'
My obsession is like this: I love the kids at DEPDC.
I love serving them.
I love seeing their warm smiles.
I love teaching them.
I love waking up each morning knowing I have so much to look forward to.
I love the hugs.
And the laughter.
I even love the classroom noise.
My heart breaks to know that they probably will not get the same chances I had.
It breaks more when I wonder what will happen to them.
Does the past truly determine our future? Will it for these kids?
They have already had hard lives. And they are so young.
Will this be their lot in life?
Most of the time I don't think about these things. It is just too dang hard. Instead, I reflect on the possibility of what might be, in the picture I create of their future lives.
I imagine them in charmed lives.
Lives filled with love, health, and safety.
They are graduates of school.
And fathers and mothers in their own right.
Who can provide for their family.
And teach their children.
And keep them safe.
And free from preventable diseases.
This is what I hope and pray for them.
I also pray that my disappearance will not cause them pain.
That they will get a new teacher (right now they don't have one).
That this teacher will understand what is at stake.
What is at stake?
Only a life.
That's it, really.
The question is, what can we do for them?
Happily, this is a question I have an answer for.
You can donate money.
http://www.give2asia.org/depdc (this way is tax-deductible)
You can donate your time.
If you are interested in volunteering at DEPDC, contact me by email.
You could be their next teacher.
Help DEPDC help them.