Wish You Were Here

The dreaded GRE...

2012-01-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

I know I have been a complete slacker on posting on my blog ever since I got back from Thailand. This is in part due to the fact that I was attempting (key word) to focus on studying for the GRE and my graduate school search. Sadly, it was more due to the fact that what I have been spending my time on is not very interesting.

Let's be honest--how many people want to read about my days spent researching master's programs, studying vocabulary and math, and completing very tedious (and often dreadful) Econ assignments? Yeah, didn't think so.

But now that most of that is over with, I can share what might be of interest to some of you. It pertains to my experience with Graduate Records Exam (GRE). As some of you know, the test was dramatically changed in August 2011. The scoring system is different, as is much of the material they test you on (for more information click here). I won't go into the particulars, but for those of you thinking about going to graduate school and taking the GRE, here are some tips that I found in my time preparing for and then taking the test:

1. Don't study too much or too little. Remember 2 things to help you strike a balance between overdoing it and being a little too lazy. One- this is JUST a test! Two- This is a test that could change your life.
I studied for a little over 2 months. For me, this was the perfect amount of time to completely relearn algebra, geometry, statistics, etc, and brush up on advanced vocabulary.

2. Study to eliminate weaknesses and build on existing strengths. Math is my weakness. English and writing are my strengths. I spent 85+ percent of my time studying for the quantitative section. I spent zero time studying for the analytical, as I always found that studying how to write well is a waste of time. And I spent all my verbal studying time on vocabulary.

3. Don't underestimate the power of PRACTICE. Seriously this is the best tip I can give you. Take practice tests AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I wish I would have done this more. Practice the things you are studying over and over again. If you don't, you'll just forget them come test time.

4. Accept that the GRE is a standardized test, and as such is supposed to test your knowledge AND your natural abilities. As much as I studied for math, I didn't get close to a perfect score. And this is because I can't make myself brilliant at math in 2 months. I probably can't do it in 6 months. The GRE has too many potential things it could ask you, which is why you must rely on your accumulated knowledge. This, I believe, particularly applies to the Verbal section, since reading comprehension is not something one can study, but something that is built up over time.

5. Buy or use resources that you won't dread studying from, then set a study schedule and stick to it. I bought or borrowed numerous books, some of which I hated (and so barely used). Others I loved because they were user friendly.

My hated book(s)/resources: Barron huge GRE book. The math study guide by ETS.
Books/resources I found helpful: Barron's Essential Words for the GRE, Kaplan's free practice tests online, the free practice test by ETS, and any free test I found in borrowed books.
My favorite GRE study book: Cliffnotes Math Review for Standardized Tests

And a few things to keep in mind about testing day

The test is long. I mean REALLY long. If you aren't used to sitting in one place for 4 hours straight, you will be in trouble if you don't take enough practice tests in actual testing conditions. I took about 4 practice tests, none of which I completed in test-like conditions. Big mistake. Around section 4 of 6 I reached my tolerance point for reading yet another endless passage. This induced me to guess more, and care less.
Remember the difference between a square and a circle. Some questions require just one response, others allow you to choose more than one. The shape of the button you click on will indicate which type of question you are dealing with.
Pay attention to the clock. During practice tests I had no problem completing the verbal sections with time left over, but on actual testing day I spent more time on each question, and found myself having to guess on the last few per section. So look at the clock!

And that's it. While I won't post my scores on my blog (sorry people), I can report that I did very well on the verbal, did exactly how I expected on the math, and was slightly disappointed with my analytical score.

All in all, I feel content. We'll see if that changes once I get responses back from my potential graduate programs. Wish me luck!

The Kids ARE alright!

2011-12-05T17:28:00.001-08:00

In my haze of GRE studying, I forgot to tell you about some exciting news. I heard back from DEPDC about the packages. They received the school supplies that were generously donated by so many. My class also received my letter and the little gifts I included for each of the children.

Below is Alinda, the Director at DEPDC reading my letter to the class.

The entire class. I am worried that so many of them are missing. But as we all experienced, the kids have frequent absences, especially during seasons of crop planting and harvesting. I also noticed two new additions, including the little girl in the middle.

It feels like I just left Thailand, and that I have been away forever, all at the same time. Needless to say, it appears not much has changed at DEPDC. Our class is much the same, and from the pictures, look to be doing well.

What a relief, to finally have proof of their continued existence! And to know that my dreams of late were once my daily reality. With these pictures I remembered, if only for a fleeting moment, how it was, who I was, and what we did.

It is a thing I hope never to forget.

My Surprise of School Supplies

2011-10-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

While I was in Thailand, I had an idea of how to help DEPDC with their funding problems. It was simple really. One of DEPDC's main projects is their Half-Day School, where I worked teaching level 1 English classes. And what do schools need? School supplies of course!

Me and a few others set off to try to get donations from people back in the States. The idea was that people would be more willing to donate supplies than money. Well, this plan had a bit of a flaw. Our email sent out was too complicated, and looking back, asked too much. We didn't get much of a response.

When I got home to the States in September, my mom let me know that after she had received my email, she had made an announcement at church to the women about it. One announcement. That is it. They put a small box in an area of the church, for any supplies to be added to. She asked me if I would be willing to announce the drive to the women as well, which I did, briefly.

Before you, is the response we received. And this does not include the cash donations, which were put towards shipping costs.

Since I took these pictures, much more has been donated, and we are planning on sending a second box in the next few weeks.

I couldn't resist adding little presents for my class in the first box. Since the box got there after the children had left for a month-long fall break, I will have to wait to see what the response is at DEPDC. They have promised to send pictures!

I can't wait to see the kids' reactions. I am thinking it is going to be something like this. :)

And a parting thought:

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. ~Mother Teresa

These are the Best Days of my Life

2011-10-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

I never blogged about my favorite day at DEPDC. One of my favorite's, because there are many. It also happened to be my last day there.

August 23, 2011. It started out much as every day in Thailand, with a long bus ride to the border town, Mae Sai. We had our entire group (well, those of us who were left), there that day. Me, Aub, Dave, Courtney, Andy, and Mitch. On the bus we hauled as many bags as we could carry full of clothes and toiletries to donate to both DEPDC and the orphanage. I'm sure we all looked quite strange, all these farangs with trash bags.

It was a little strange going up with everyone, as I was used to only the regulars being with me. I know one of my weaknesses while in Thailand was that I was a bit too possessive of the kids. I only wanted people going up to DEPDC who genuinely cared, worked hard, and who wanted to be there.

Despite this, I am glad they headed up, as Andy was so nice to take pictures of the day (I was usually too busy to take any pictures with me and the kids), and Dave so sweet to translate.

We started out class with Dave and I letting the kids know that it was our last day at DEPDC. I swear, when I was talking and Dave translating, it was the quietest I saw the kids EVER. They listened attentively, with eyes wide. It was a calmness I had never felt from the kids. It was like they were telling me they were going to be okay, and that I would be okay too.

Aub and I had scheduled the whole day out, as we did not want to waste a moment with the kids. Aub had the great idea of having the kids make cards for Sompop and Alinda, the founder and director at DEPDC. It was so cute. Without us even telling them, the kids decided to draw their hands on one of the cards, and hearts on the other.

We made sure to get the kids back to the front with half the class time left, as we had a bit of a surprise for them. Aub, Lars, Jamie, Manasa, and I had made cards for each of the kids, with personalized messages in Thai and a picture of us with the class pasted inside. The cards were beautiful, and I was so excited to present them to the kids. Aub had also make bracelets for each of them, each unique in its own way.

We called each of the kids up individually, and I was so glad to be able to single each one out, and to be able to show each of them how much they meant to me and all of us. Most of the kids loved it, some were embarrassed, and some acted too cool for the whole thing. I was happy to see that we only had two kids missing that day, as most days we have more than that absent.

At the very end of class we had the kids pick out a movie that we were going to watch together in the afternoon. While the kids were at lunch, Aub and I, through the help of key people at DEPDC, procured the large open auditorium to use their projector and projection screen. I was so excited for the kids to be able to watch a movie on the "big" screen.

The young guys at DEPDC were great, helping us set everything up for the movie. Aub and I had brought all kinds of treats for the kids, including popcorn. We bought about 20 bags of it at 7-eleven in Chiang Rai, and carried them all the way to Mae Sai. The things you have to do when there are no microwaves.

I had a great time during the movie just hanging out with the kids. They would feed me popcorn (literally put it in my mouth) and different kids kept coming up to me to give me cards. They were so sweet. Many of them had began making the cards right after I told them it was our last day, and spent the time during the movie making their little creations. Other of the kids were in full attention during the entire movie, as I am sure they had never seen a movie that large before. It was so cute to watch them.

After the movie, it was time to say our goodbyes. I was ready for the moment, and prepared myself to put on a happy face for the kids. Somehow, I caught each one of them, even those that usually hurry away. I was so thankful for the opportunity to say goodbye to them individually, and to be able to hug and whisper words of farewell and love to each of them.

I was particularly touched by one such goodbye.

It was with Sisen (The boy above on the left), a child who is smart but who acts out constantly in class. He is my most distracting student, as he talks throughout lessons, and leads many of the younger boys to follow his example. But this day was different. During that day he would come up to me and give me hugs, or just shout "Kryssy" and give me sweet smilies. The kid, it short, surprised me. I didn't know he cared that much. Sisen gave me multiple hugs that day, and after the movie, as we were saying goodbye, he kissed me on the cheek and kept his little arms wrapped around my neck. He followed me as I was walking away, and would not leave my side. He was sweeter than I had ever seen him.

He was the one, more than any other, who made me feel like, at the moment, it was all worth it. All those hard days, where the kids wouldn't listen, or be quiet, when they would fight or be angry or worse, were all nothing. I went to Thailand for him. For him to know that someone wanted him to succeed, that someone wanted him to grow and progress and become more than he though was possible. And he was there for me, to show me that sacrifice is a necessary part of life, that love comes in many forms, and that service, once given, is never forgotten.

He'll be in my heart, as will all the other kids, forever. As I walked up the path away from the kids and DEPDC, I did finally loose it. I did not want to leave. Not for them, but for me. They made my life better, and I was happier with them in it. Thus, in my last moment, I cried selfishly. But what more can you do, when you know they have given you more than you could ever give back?

My last day in Thailand ends here, with a conviction that real service, when given, is the greatest gift you can bestow upon yourself.

My Volunteer Journey, In Video Form

2011-09-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

Our group in Thailand decided to make a video that encompassed our journey in Thailand, and the people we met and worked with along the way. Here it is in its final form for your viewing pleasure.

I loved my experience. I hope this video can bring you into what was my world.

A Sad Song has no Ending

2011-09-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

As I sit here writing this from my comfortable house in California, nice things surround me that I went without in Thailand. I now have a bed. And a mattress. I have a light near me I can turn on and off. I have nice clothes that don't get worn often, filling up a closest with plastic and metal hangers. I have a desk with which to do important type things and a bookshelf to keep important sounding books. Around the house is my car, which I am told is also nice.

All of these things are comfortable and nice. They are things I have not had in quite some time. Some are things I thought necessary. Others helped me feel important. None compare to what I had in Thailand.

I always hear authoritative-type people say "The heart grows fonder with time" (or is it "distance"). I hope this is not the case. Because I don't think my heart can handle anymore where Thailand is concerned. 'I apologize', I would say to my the feeling side of myself, 'but my heart is filled to capacity. There is no room.'

The room is taken up, as room usually is in the heart, by people. Specifically, by the little people I left behind. You see, Thailand did something to me. I call it 'my obsession' but perhaps it is more aptly called 'my addiction'.

My obsession is like this: I love the kids at DEPDC.
I love serving them.
I love seeing their warm smiles.
I love teaching them.

I love waking up each morning knowing I have so much to look forward to.

I love the hugs.

And the laughter.

I even love the classroom noise.

My heart breaks to know that they probably will not get the same chances I had.
It breaks more when I wonder what will happen to them.
Does the past truly determine our future? Will it for these kids?
They have already had hard lives. And they are so young.
Will this be their lot in life?

Most of the time I don't think about these things. It is just too dang hard. Instead, I reflect on the possibility of what might be, in the picture I create of their future lives.
I imagine them in charmed lives.
Lives filled with love, health, and safety.
They are graduates of school.
And fathers and mothers in their own right.
Who can provide for their family.
And teach their children.
And keep them safe.
And free from preventable diseases.

This is what I hope and pray for them.

I also pray that my disappearance will not cause them pain.
That they will get a new teacher (right now they don't have one).
That this teacher will understand what is at stake.
What is at stake?
Only a life.

Her life.

His life.

That's it, really.

The question is, what can we do for them?
Happily, this is a question I have an answer for.

You can donate money.
http://www.give2asia.org/depdc (this way is tax-deductible)
or http://www.depdc.org/eng/help/how_to_donate.html

You can donate your time.

If you are interested in volunteering at DEPDC, contact me by email.
You could be their next teacher.

Help DEPDC help them.

This VIDEO has the potential to CHANGE LIVES

2011-08-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Without further adieu, the video that we have been working so hard on. All about the non-profit DEPDC/GMS and the great work they are doing to prevent the trafficking of children.

Please watch. Please share. Please act.

These kids have changed my life. Let us help them change theirs.

Rice Planting oh my!

2011-08-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

Last week most of our group had the opportunity to help the girls at the Monsaengdao Recovery Center plant rice. I haven't blogged at all about Monsaengdao (or as we call it, the Recovery School) since I am always so busy at DEPDC.

The Recovery school is a residential living campus that houses girls who have been abused, trafficked, or otherwise mistreated or abandoned by their families. The girls range in age from 12-18 and they currently have a little over 30 girls living at the center. The center focuses heavily on the natural environment and both protecting and using these resources responsibly.

This brings me back to the rice fields. The school has about 10 rice fields, and since it is rice planting season, we were asked to help the girls plant!

Let me tell you, rice planting is HARD. I will never eat rice again without appreciating the back breaking time and effort it takes to harvest tiny bits of rice.

Us with the rice plants. We had to stick individual strands of these into the water, one at a time....

Hudson trying to help me out. As we say in Thailand, Hudson jaidee!

We were pretty much bent over like this the entire time.

Manasa, Jamie, Me, and Lars on the bus after a hard days work planting. This pictures does not do our level of dirtiness justice.

While I had fun and bonded with my teammates and the girls, I think I can safely say that I have ruled out rice farmer as my future profession.

The Star Chart, Our Saving Grace

2011-07-30T01:01:00.000-07:00

I love the star chart we have at DEPDC. Our classroom has changed dramatically since implementing our system of privileges and discipline. I highly recommend it for all teachers!

I was talking to one of the other volunteers yesterday about how far we have come as teachers since we arrived in May. I am not afraid to admit that we had no clue what we were doing. We knew what we were supposed to do, but did not yet know the best way to do it. We didn't know yet what worked and didn't work with the kids. We didn't yet know how to teach them not just correctly, but in a way that allowed them to both have fun, love learning, and remember what we had taught them.

We are still learning. But we know now all the kids. We know which ones will act out, those that need more attention, those prone to fits, and the teacher's pets. We know what works (visuals, mixing it up, media) and what doesn't (writing words on the board, talking a lot in English, boring lessons).

We can now see the kids at their best. The star chart has helped with this. We have a system that allows us to reward the kids for being good. The kids look forward to the chart time at the end of class everyday. I believe they love the stickers and what they mean more than the love the actual prizes. And what even surprised me, the love the order it creates. They love that they are being acknowledged for their efforts, and watch for others in class who are not following the rules.

Classes have improved so much, which makes both me and the kids happy. When in doubt, try a star chart. It will change your classroom.

Work, the Greatest Healer

2011-07-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

I have come to find that I am addicted to the work here in Thailand. With so much to do and so little time left (less than a month!) I am seriously worried that I will not be able to leave all there is to do behind. I am already getting anxious about the amount of work there is left to do, as I imagine all of us leaving with no one to fill in for us once we are gone. It is with sadness that I admit there is more to do here than will ever get done, even if I and the entire team dedicate our life's work to this place and its people.

But it is with great joy that I think about all that we have done, and will still do for the children that we love so dearly. Work here has been going amazing, and it never fails that I wake up excited every day to go out and, as I like to say, do the good work.

As per usual, I have been dedicating 100% of my time to DEPDC. Our projects there have been getting on brilliantly. Our kindergarten/level one class has gained a sense of organization and cohesiveness that I never thought possible! We had the opportunity and good fortune of being given a newly finished classroom, especially helpful because we didn't have a classroom at all before. The classroom is so beautiful and I love the order it brings to our classes to have actual desks. Thanks so much to ISV (another group of volunteers) for the classroom!

Not pictured in the classroom is a very beautiful star chart put together by me and other HELP volunteers. The purpose of the star chart is simple. We needed a kind of discipline system as some of the students have behavioral issues. Since we don't want to put any of them out of the classroom as punishment (these are kids without any chance at education before) we decided a card system would work best. They get a yellow card for first warning, and a red card for the second warning. If they have a red card at the end of the day, they do not get a star sticker. Each child needs three stickers to get a prize. So far the kids love it, even most of the older ones.

This is our classroom before. See the difference? Keep in mind this is when class just ended.

I cannot get over how amazing these kids are. I recently had the opportunity to visit Burma, and see the country where most of these kids come from, and where many currently live. While there Jamie, Jordan and I had the good fortune to see two of the kids from DEPDC there, and were invited to one of their homes. These kids come from such humble backgrounds, and yet have more of a spirit and motivation than most privileged kids.

Some of the boys from our class, taking a break from cleaning the grounds. Yes, these kids have to help out around DEPDC. They are taught from an early age how important hard work is to get along in life.

While in Burma we also had the opportunity of visiting a Shan school (one of he ethnic minorities in Burma). Because the Shan are originally from the Yunnan Province in China, school for them is taught in Mandarin. Crazy, right? It never ceases to amaze me how many different types of people can live in one area of the world. While at the school, many of the kids followed us everywhere (as shown in the picture). I felt bad since they were supposed to be in class. We learned while visiting that the school was one of the "good" ones in Burma and was privately funded.

This varied from the public schools in Burma, which are lacking in skilled teachers, money, and just about anything a school would need to function properly. This is why most of our kids at DEPDC are Burmese. The education system in Burma is virtually non-existent, with teachers so underpaid that they force public students to pay bribes for them to come to class. Those who can't afford the bribes are not allowed back in the classroom. The government does nothing, as they (and the military) are the only ones making a decent living in Burma, and are, for most, the root and source of the problems and corruption in the education system and others in the country.

Here are some of the children of Burma. I had made it a new goal in life to one day adopt a Burmese child. I cannot get enough of these kids! Aren't they so adorable?

Our other big project at DEPDC was making a basketball court for the campus. This involved a lot of painting and taping to make sure we get the lines exactly right. Jason was so great for coming up with this project! I am pictures below with one of our kids, helping me paint some of the lines. The kids were so amazed they stood around watching the entire process unfold. And they are so cute, we couldn't resist letting them help paint!

Above are the kids taking advantage of the court with Jason when it was finished. And yes, they are playing basketball with a soccer ball.

The video projects are also coming along really well. Lauren is a saint for getting control of these and making sure we stay on schedule for getting the videos completed by the beginning of August. These videos have been both a joy and a struggle to work on, as we have to put SO many hours intofilming, taking photos, editing, and gathering data to use in the making of these 2 simple projects. But I finally see it starting to pay off, as we are beginning to see an end in sight. Once I get the go ahead and they have been approved, I will post a link of facebook and my blog for everyone to see! Before than, please, please, please like "DEPDC" on facebook. It takes literally 5 seconds. It's the simple things that help, right?

Lauren and I with 3 of the girls in our class. I love this girl!

I will end with a picture of Jamie and I on the 4th of July, with one of the twins that lives next to us. Until next time...

The Decade of Delivery

2011-06-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

This decade has just been dubbed the "Decade of Delivery" by the U.S State Department, which just released the 2011 Trafficking in Persons Report. Among its contents, it ranks each country based on its efforts (or lack of efforts) to combat human trafficking all over the world.

Not surprisingly, Thailand is listed as a Tier 2 Country, meaning that the U.S recognizes that it attempting to work against trafficking, but that there is still a significant problem. More importantly, Thailand is listed on the Tier 2 Watch List, meaning that they are in danger of being moved down to the lowest category, or to Tier 3 status.

Straight from the U.S. State Department's website, Tier 2 (Watch List) is defined as:

Countries whose governments do not fully comply with the TVPA’s minimum standards, but are making significant efforts to bring themselves into compliance with those standards AND:

a)  the absolute number of victims of severe forms of trafficking is very significant or is significantly increasing;
b)  there is a failure to provide evidence of increasing efforts to combat severe forms of trafficking in persons from the previous year, including increased investigations, prosecution, and convictions of trafficking crimes, increased assistance to victims, and decreasing evidence of complicity in severe forms of trafficking by government officials; or
c)  the determination that a country is making significant efforts to bring itself into compliance with minimum standards was based on commitments by the country to take additional steps over the next year.

If Thailand is moved down to Tier 3 status, certain sanctions will be imposed on it, including "withholding or withdrawing nonhumanitarian, non-trade-related foreign assistance."

Thailand better get its act together soon. I personally have seen the enormous trafficking problem in Thailand. Just today, we traveled to a shelter that houses girls who have been rescued from brothels in Northern Thailand.

I am so proud of the U.S. and other governments for working against trafficking, for publicizing a report that seeks to analyse the problem and provide potential solutions, and for government officials, NGO workers, and human rights activists who work tirelessly to help lessen the number of victims in this terrible crime.

Let this be, indeed, the Decade of Deliverance.

DEPDC is the place to be!

2011-06-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

I cannot begin to express how much I love working at DEPDC. It is a dream job come true! I love so many things about this great organization, but I love one things about it more than anything else...

The kids. They are the reason behind why I do what I do everyday. They are my purpose for being in Thailand. Let me tell you about our kids. They are almost all refugees. Most are minorities. All come from the poorest of the poor. All are at extreme risk of being trafficked (yes even the boys). Some cannot even write their names in their native language.

And yet all love learning. All greet us with smilies everyday. Most are extremely optimistic about their futures and their lives. All this from kids from the bottom-most rung of society. All this from kids who, at least from the outside, would seem to be without hope, and with little chance of escaping their difficult circumstances. They are my constant example of love, hope, and positivity!

Our entire Class.

Thanks to everyone for your support and for making this dream possible!

Projects, Projects, Projects

2011-06-10T01:13:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to introduce the projects I am involved in here in Thailand. All projects are at DEPDC, an NGO that has quickly become my favorite place to work at!

PR Video Project:

Taylee, Courtney, and I have been working tirelessly on a video project designed to increase international awareness about 1-human trafficking as a global issue, and 2-DEPDC and what they are doing to work against trafficking in the GMS (Greater Mekong Subregion). So far this video has involved a lot of planning, interviewing, editing, filming, and photographing. I have had so much fun working on this, and am excited to see the finished video. I will be posting the video sometime next week on both my blog and my facebook page, so make sure you check it out then!

Education Projects:

Kindergarden class-
When we visited DEPDC, it was very apparent that they are short on funding, and as a result, were short on teachers as well. While meeting with staff, we were told they did not have anyone to teach their kindergarden or Level 1 classes, and were wondering if we would mind taking them over. We, of course, were happy to help, and told them we would love to!

The rest is history! DEPDC assigned HELP volunteers as the primary teachers for their two kindergarden classes. We have taken over all classes, and teach 3 days a week. The kids are so excited to learn and we are excited to teach them. Are kids ages range from 5-14, and for every child in our class, this is the first encounter they have had with formal education. Almost all are ethnic minorities, hill tribe children, or refugees from Burma. Many don't speak Thai, and almost all did not know anything in English.

The kids have come so far since we started teaching them a few weeks ago. Almost all can now say the English alphabet and numbers, can say colors and certain animals in English, and are currently learning the days of the week. What I think is one of their biggest accomplishments, is when we used to class rolls (which was missing many of the children) to help them write their names in English. They loved decorating their name tags and knowing what their names looked like. During this process, we also realize many could not write anything in Thai, and as such could not write their name in the native language of their home country as well.

This simple fact has become sadder as I have come to know the children, and to understand how much they want to learn. I am lucky and privileged to teach children who understand the value of education, and who know what it is to live without educational opportunities in their lives.

One thing I want to stress about our kids is that most do not have Thai citizenship, and as such are excluded from their basic rights to a public education in Thailand. Some of these kids live in Burma, and cross the border every day to be able to go to school. We have such a diverse group of kids, and we love it!

Creativity Class-

Our group is in charge of a weekly creativity class with the kids where we allow them to express themselves through art, music, dance, writing, etc. I am particularly excited for a photography project we will be doing with the kids very soon. Our idea is that we teach the class the basics of photography, and let the class practice with our own personal digital cameras. When we think the children are ready, we will provide them each with a disposable camera so they can implement the skills and lessons that were learned in class. We will allow them to take these cameras home and take photos of their everyday lives.

We hope that the images that come out of this project will open the international community's eyes to the issues surrounding stateless and impoverished children living on the Thai/Burma border.

Unfortunately, disposable cameras are very hard to come across in Thailand, and we are looking at options of having the cameras shipped into Thailand from overseas. Until then, we are waiting patiently to begin the project, which I think has the potential to greatly impact the lives of the DEPDC children.

Statelessness Project-

I am also hoping to work on an issue involving the statelessness problem we have encountered here in Northern Thailand. Many of the people living here are without citizenship, which excludes them from their basic rights to healthcare, education, etc. Most of the stateless are born in Thailand, but because they lack birth certificates and official documents, they are considered "stateless" by the Thai government, and as such cannot travel, go to a hospital or public school, and are, more than any other group in Thailand, at risk of being trafficked and sold.

As I have come to find out, almost all those in Thailand who have been trafficked are stateless, migrants, or refugees.

Right now we are looking into potential projects with an NGO named Plan. More on that later!

Prostitution is Alive and well in Thailand

2011-05-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

Last week I caught a glimpse of the underworld of illicit prostitution. Along a dimly lit street in Chiang Mai, on our way to a night market, the HELP group accidently had stumbled upon one of the hubs of prostitution in Thailand. The streets were lined with bars, karaoke clubs, and massage parlors. Girls were everywhere--they lined the streets outside the parlors, they sat on bar stools, they peeked out from dark rooms. Foreign men were around every corner, could be found in every "business," inside, outside, walking, sitting, prowling, drinking, talking. Most where old and white, traveling the streets alone. Some had already found a girl, and the ones still in the bars were busy eating and drinking with these girls, girls half their age, girls dressed in next to nothing, with enough makeup to shine through the grime and blackness of the night.

How do these men, lacking all tact, openly partake in such an evil thing?

I wonder how many of these prostitutes are being controlled by violent pimps, if any are underage, and how they got to where they are today. Choice is a complex idea, one which merits consideration when one is unlocking the mysteries of prostitution. And one which does not receive consideration by those men roaming the streets of Chiang Mai's red light district.

Do they consider the possibility that a prostitute does not choose to have sex with them, but is forced to do so, for varying reasons? Do they consider that she might have been taken from her home country and family, into a world that is dark, horrible, and terrifying, but worse, a world that offers little to no option of escape? What can you say to these people, who are our everyday neighbors, coworkers, and church members back home, and who have come to a foreign country to escape the rules and laws of their home countries? Do they know it is illegal? And more importantly, do they know that it is wrong?

In Thailand, as in the rest of the world, evil is alive and well. But here it is different. Here the hidden escape from the surface of things, exposing ordinary people to a world we would not have ordinarily seen back home. It is a reality that I find hard to grasp. It is an image that I cannot forget.

I believe in the overwhelming goodness of people, in all sappy ideas like hope, peace, and love thy neighbor. But I also believe many people have forgotten what it means to be good, and what it is to be evil. Whether someone trafficks a person, or buys a person for sex (after they have been trafficked), it is the same thing.

I hope that I will not lose my dreams here. But when I see such things, I wonder how any of us make it out alive.

Engaged in a Good cause

2011-05-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

I have been in Chiang Rai 3 weeks now, and in that time, I have been involved in partnership creation (or re-establishment) with local Thai NGOs, ascertaining needs assessments with each NGO (where we basically ask the people what they need), and creating potential projects around each need. This involves a lot of traveling, talking, listening, and A LOT of meetings. I have enjoyed this part of the work, but was also happy to move onto stage 2, where we create, individually or in groups, potentials projects to develop in conjunction with our Thai NGO partner. This involves tons of brainstorming, writing, thinking, and research, which I love! From all our hard work, we then propose official projects, each of which must be approved by the entire Thailand team.

All the projects I will be involved in are at DEPDC/GMS, or the Development and Education Programme for Daughters and Communities. DEPDC is located in Mae Sai, which is the one of Northern Thailand's border towns with Burma. I have learned so much about this organization since coming here, and the more I learn about it, the more I get excited for all the work they are doing to prevent and combat human trafficking and the exploitation of children.

Let me give you a little background. DEPDC has various centres, all of which are located in the Greater Mekong Subregion (GMS). The GMS used to be the largest exporter of heroin and methamphetamine in the world, and still is the 2nd largest exporter of opium (after Afghanistan). It is currently a hot spot for the trafficking of persons, both within the region, and into different areas of the world (exportation). This region is more commonly called the Golden Triangle.

DEPDC works mainly on the prevention side of human trafficking, rather on the more dramatic intervention and treatment side, although they currently operate a few isolated centres for rescued girls. Most of the children DEPDC works with are ethnic minorities, including stateless children from hill tribes, as well as migrants from neighboring nations (especially Burma).

DEPDC does this with a 4-pronged approach, which includes:

Education

DEPDC operates schools and vocational training centers for children

Protection Program

This includes DEPDC shelters for children rescued from trafficking

Community Development and Outreach

DEPDC operates a Community Learner Center, where they teach evening classes. They also operate a radio station and a hotline for people involved in trafficking, etc to call in. Each time they do, DEPDC opens a new case and investigates the claims made, often preventing or rescuing a child because of 1 phone call!

Youth Leadership Development

DEPDC currently operates a program called the Mekong Youth Net, which trains youth to be leaders against trafficking and exploitation in their home communities.

In operation since its inception in 1989, DEPDC has since helped 4,000 children, 96% of which have stayed out of prostitution. For more information on DEPDC, I love their blog.

For more about the projects we are getting involved in at DEPDC, tune in next time!

We just don't just have fun, I swear!

2011-05-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have been posting a lot about all the fun adventures I have been having here in Thailand. I feel a bit guilty I haven't had much of a "work" related post yet. We have been working A LOT, but for these first 2 weeks we have had a lot of down time because of the long holiday. As we all agreed in our team meeting yesterday, WORK HARD (x1000) and after PLAY HARD. It has been a bit turned around as of late thanks to our long holiday in Chiang Mai (thanks Buddha for being born!).

We had so much fun in Chiang Mai that I couldn't resist posting about the trip, despite all the work items I could (and will) post about. We left for Chiang Mai on Saturday, after we had our last volunteer for the first wave arrive from Virginia. This brings our team total for these first six weeks to 13.

Chiang Mai is a city about 3 hours south of our home city Chiang Rai. It is very tourist-centered, as most signs, etc can be found in English and Thai, and surprisingly, you are just as likely to see foreigners as Thais in certain parts of the city.

I loved Chiang Mai and its bigger city feel, although I am very happy we are separated from tourist Thailand here in Chiang Rai. While there we did so much, including:

learning meditation from a Buddhist monk
Going to the walking market and the night markets to see the local products, including pirated DVDs and CDs, fake designer bags, tourist junk, makeup, clothes...
Going to the tailors and helping Hudson and Todd pick out shirts and suit colors and materials. So fun!
Eating a lot of Roti. If you don't know what Roti is, I feel so sorry for you because it is SOOOO good (see picture above).
Visiting various Wats (Buddhist temples)
Eatings loads of good, good food, including hamburgers and fries and burritos. :)
Walking through the red-light district and seeing 100+ girls hanging out on the street (more on that to follow)
And the highlight: visiting Tiger Kingdom, getting to play with baby tigers and chill with adult tigers. A once in a lifetime experience. And yes the below pictures are real. In case you are wondering, the tigers are not drugged, just trained as well as you can train/tame a tiger.

Chiang Mai Vacation

2011-05-17T03:46:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time, but I thought I'd post this picture from our 4 day trip to Chiang Mai this weekend. Yes those are real baby tigers and yes I got to play with them. More to come!

First Week

2011-05-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

Week one has come and gone. I can barely believe it, both because I feel like I have been here forever, and because we have done so much. Our schedule went a bit like this:

Clock Tower in Chiang Rai

Saturday-Went ot the store to buy essentials (like pillows), rode elephants, got traditional Thai massages, and ate a lot of GOOD Thai food. Highlight-the elephant ride of course!

Sunday-Went to the local Chaing Rai Mormon branch. Planning meeting afterwards about the English camp we were participating in. Highlight-feeling so welcomed at church with all the hugs, smiles, and handshakes.

The group in a Song Taew

Monday-Went to the Chaing Rai hospital and had meetings, etc about potential projects there. Highlight-we got to visit the forensics unit where they keep dead bodies. I saw a Japanese mafia guy you had got shot in the head. Fun.

Tuesday-Went to Mae Sai on the Northern border to DEPDC (where I want to work) and spent the day learning about the organization and meeting some of the people who work there. Highlight-Learning about about thinking of potential projects that can be accomplished at DEPDC.

Me in front of our house.

Wednesday and Thursday- We were busy all day volunteering at an English camp. The English camp was a a local elementary school and was meant to get all the kids interested in learning English. We were supposed to show the fun side to English, and were all assigned stations we were in charge of. Jamie and I were in charge of Phonetics, and so spent the day teaching sounds, practicing pronauciation, and playing games. We were all so sweaty and tired by the end of it all, and I realized how truly hard (but rewarding) it is to be a teacher. Highlight-getting hugs and high fives from the kids, going to Kareoke with the school administators (crazy times...), and getting pizza and Pepsi Thursday night to celebrate our victory!

My roommates, Jamie and Courtney

Friday and today- We have 5 days off (I know you are all jealous) for Buddha's birthday on Tuesday. Yesterday we went to a waterfall which was SO COOL and swam in the water. We even got to go under the waterfall. Very intense. We also got to go to a kind of international store/center (much like I have seen in Singapore) and I bought loads of bread (I miss bread!) and European and Japanese chocolate. They had a McDonalds there but I resisted. I did buy a donut though. Yum.

Today we are leaving for Chaing Mai, which is about 2 1/2 hours south of us. We will be there for the reminder of the holiday. Things to look forward to: meditating with monks, and ziplining through the jungle.

On a more negative note, about 75% of my pictures are turning out blurry. I think my camera has had it! Luckily, everyone else is taking loads of pictures, and I will have to steal from them for now.

Welcome to Thailand!

2011-05-08T02:20:00.000-07:00

After 2 long days of travel, I have arrived safetly, albeit tiredly, in Chiang Rai, Thailand. Things have been crazy and exciting ever since arriving here. I landed in Bangkok on Friday morning, and spent the afternoon exploring the city with a few of the other volunteers that were at the airport at the same time. I say explore, although what we really did is watch and "explore" the city from a 4th story Starbucks, since we were too tired to actually walk around the city.

From there we took a commuter flight north, arriving in Chiang Rai late that night. And now for a bit about our house. Our house is really more like 4 separate, 1 room apartments, each with its own bathroom and bedroom space. To my surprise, our bedroom did not contain the bunkbeds I had been told we would be sleeping in, but instead has 2 mats, which can only be described as hard, ugly, and old. I live with 2 other girls, and the space is more than adequete to fit us in. The bathroom is a shower/toliet combo room, with a tiled floor that remians perpetually wet.

I feel we have been here for 2 weeks, rather than the paltry 2 full days we have been in Chiang Rai. Yesterday, our first real day, we spent all day out, seeing the sites, eating good food, and yes, riding elephants. Today we spent mostly going to church, in a small branch where us 12 volunteers filled the 3 rows of chairs, and almost doubled the branch size. I wish I had time to say more. Thailand is just as amazing as all the times I have previously been, but in a completely new way. I am experiencing the real Thailand, separated from foreigners, tourists, resorts, and air-conditioned retaurants. The real Thailand is hot and sweaty, and it is rare to find the passerby who understands English. But I love it.

Until next time, Krystal

Farewell

2011-05-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

It is with mixed feelings that I prepare to leave for Thailand today, traveling, as I am, not as a tourist but as a humanitarian worker. I feel overwhelmed and inadequate, excited and anxious. I don't know what to expect, so I have trained myself to not have expectations of how it will be, or how much I can (or cannot) accomplish. Most people seek to make a difference, and I admit, I too fall into this group. Which is why I am trying not to daydream about the possibilities, about me, an individual, being able to make "substantive change" for the multitude. It is a dream I came to HELP International with, and one I still believe in. But I also believe that everything I will do will be hard, dirty, and will, I am sure, be full of setbacks, conflict and difficulty.

I know I and we (my team and I) can do it, and that we can succeed. Please pray for me. Please think of me, once in awhile. And please do not forget the seriousness of the cause. Do not forget the dream of a world without poverty. Do not forget the dream of ridding the world of human trafficking. I cannot do it. But we can.

Signing off until Thailand, Krystal

2 Girls

2011-05-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry for another video. But this one is powerful enough to post.

HELP International Weekend Conference Traininig Seminar 2011

2011-04-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

Where I Am Going

2011-04-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Did You Know?

2011-04-11T20:25:00.003-07:00

Each year 800,000 human beings are bought
sold, or forced across the world's borders.

80% of this number are women

50% are children

Human trafficking is a 32 billion dollar industry.

The average cost of buying a slave today is $90.

The cost of a slave during the height of the trans-atlantic slave trade--
$40,000 in modern dollars.

But these are just numbers, and numbers, after all, are imperfect indicators of the true human cost. How do you measure suffering? I don't have an answer to that. Maybe we can't measure these things, or understand slavery. After all, what does slavery mean to me, when I have never experienced it? Not much, really. But enough to care, at least enough, to want to do something.

And enough to keep the following in mind: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men [and women] to do nothing."

Poem

2011-04-05T21:47:00.006-07:00

Poverty defined

Three girls encased in cement.

Living in the walls behind

The oblong mirror in the hallway

White wall dust the only clue of the Secret

Door that opens at each quarter

Bing, on the hour Bong.

The girls take turns—first

The Vietnamese beauty. Her black

Hair falls piece by piece out

Of the hole in the wall, her dress

Torn under the arms and at the neck.

She thrusts one hand out, it shakes in

The light, pale as bleached flour.

The pimp pulls, she rolls and

Tumbles in the white dust. White on

Black, white on white. She welcomes

The pull, welcomes her sold flesh

Rubbing against the pedophiles

And the nymphomaniacs with rotting

Breath and no teeth. Sex better than

The hole. Her muscles burn, good they

Still work. Her blurry eyes tell her

She hasn’t gone blind yet. Fifteen

Minutes of light—her only gift. Raped

10 or 20 times a day and even This begins

To seem normal.

I wrote this poem a few years ago, when I first heard of sex trafficking. I was so horrified, I could not get the idea of it all out of my mind. Ironically, this was written on the back of a piece of paper at church. I dedicate it, in all its imperfections, to the 27 million* victims of human trafficking forced to live as slaves in the world today. Hopefully, is some small way, it will give a voice to the voiceless.

*This is an estimate. As you will find if you do any research on trafficking, getting accurate numbers is difficult. This is, after all, an invisible crime. Experts put the range from 24-32 million slaves. 27 million is the number cited by sociologist Kevin Bales in his book “Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy.”

Reading Material

2011-03-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

My reading material for the next couple of weeks....

I guess I need to bury myself in reading. Wish me luck!

With gratitude

2011-03-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

My post today is about gratitude. Awhile back, I had a crazy idea. Crazy but simple really--I wanted to fight to help end modern slavery. I wanted to help eradicate human trafficking. How to start? What to do? Where to go? How to go about it all? These and many questions pervaded my thoughts for quite some time. Luckily, I did finally figure out my own personal answers.

I decided to join HELP International and to move to Thailand this summer.

This meant a lieu of different things: it meant quitting a great job, it meant I would no longer have a source of income, it meant I was taking a chance, that I was, to put it mildly, acting a little crazy. But somehow I didn't feel crazy. I felt like, for the first time in a long time, I was moving towards something that was going to impact my entire life. Towards something so big that is was going to be LIFE CHANGING.

To accomplish this task, I had to do something terrifying--I had to ask people for help. Financially that is. Fundraising for my project has been a truly remarkable experience, and I have come to believe, through my successes, in the very real goodness of ordinary people. "After everything else, it is people who change the world" has become real to me, and my faith in humankind has grown so much that I am filled with love for the people of the world.

So it is with gratitude that I write this post, and in complete humility. Gratitude for those who have shown me, in whatever way they can, their support for me and what I am doing. Whether that be through words of encouragement, through financial backing, or through kind acts of friendship and service. I owe you all my everything.

And they 'went out doing good', all the days of their lives...

My Summer in Thailand

2011-03-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

I have some exciting news! I’ve recently had the opportunity to join HELP International (www.help-international.org) and will be working as a volunteer in Thailand for 4 months. I will be spending the summer working on development projects that seek to prevent and combat human trafficking in the Northern border town of Chiang Rai.

As a volunteer I will have the opportunity to initiate life-changing, sustainable development programs. One of the first projects that I will be involved in is a focused education initiative geared towards girls ages 8-18, all of whom are vulnerable (because of poverty, lack of education, and their gender) to becoming victims of human sex and labor trafficking. 1 million children are exploited by the global sex trade each year; 40,000 of these sexually exploited children live in Thailand (U.S. Department of State). I will be working to prevent these girls from being trafficked through free education, literacy, and vocational training programs.

Many might question why I am going, or if I can make a difference. I will say this—what thing cannot be accomplished that is done in faith, with real passion, and through hard work? "Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." I truly believe that we can “be the change we want to see in the world.”

My Day of Caring

2010-09-22T21:18:00.002-07:00

My coworkers and I were busy a couple of weeks ago volunteering at the Day of Caring, sponsored by United Way. In case you have not heard of the Day of Caring, let me give you a little background. In 1992 a branch of United Way sponsored a day they coined "The Day of Caring" which had a three-fold purpose:

promote the spirit and value of volunteerism
increase the awareness of local human service agencies and schools
demonstrate what people working together for the community's good can accomplish

I love the third purpose, especially because it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

Margaret Mead

Our team was assigned to work on a house owned by an elderly elementary school cafeteria worker from Provo. We spent many hours toiling away painting, pulling weeds, trees, raking, you name it! I hope that, at least in a small way, we made her life that much better and more beautiful through our efforts.

Here I am painting the outside of the house with a girl from LDS Philanthropies.

Our entire team right before we finished the job.

Look how happy we all look. I guess helping others (instead of constantly focusing on yourself and your own problems) will do that.

GRE word of the day

2010-09-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

So I have been attempting to study for the verbal portion of the GRE the past couple of months. Today I came across one of those obscure, but awesome words that I had never even heard of before!

And the word is:

inveigle. to win over by flattery or coaxing

Krystal inveigled the studly, genius-of-a-man into taking the GRE for her.

Apparently it is Anglo-Norman French in origin. Meaning it is a really, really, old word. Like, so old that people don't even use it anymore. It is also the name of a B grade play that is Not Suitable For Children. Truly scary, I know.

In other news, I already know what the words jocose and junta mean. Go me.

Namaste: My trip to India

2010-09-11T11:04:00.001-07:00

During the month of August my dad, uncle David, and I embarked on a journey to a country on the other side of the world--India. The purpose of our trip was to pick up my sister Mary, who had been living there since May in Dharamsala, a village at the Northernmost tip of India (by the Pakistan and Kashmir borders). She had been conducting a field study on the local Tibetan population in Dharamsala, where, the Dali Lama also lives now in exile. After 30+ hours of travel on various planes and in 3 airports, my uncle, dad, and I arrived in New Delhi, one of the largest cities in the world. From there we headed straight on our 11 hour road trip to Dharamsala. On the way there we got caught in a riot, various roads were unmaneuverable, rain was pouring down in buckets, and at various points (ok at most points) I was sure we were going to die in a car crash. After the initial shock of being in India wore off, we were all too tired to care about things like car crashes, or that our driver was going shockingly fast on mountainous cliffside roads. We finally arrived at our destination at 11 p.m. India time. I slept my myself in a room with bugs crawling on the walls and a bed that looked like it had had better days (like 10 years ago...). That was to be the most crude hotel we were to stay at on our entire trip (though I didn't know it at the time).
After we picked up Mary the next day, and met both of her Tibetan families, we begin our our crazy, whirlwind of a trip. First stop was the Indo-Pakistan border, where a ceremony takes places that is basically of insult-fest for both sides. Then on to Amritsar, the Sikh capital of India. There we visited the famous Golden Temple and Jalianwala Bagh (for descriptions of these places, and to see my entire India photo album, click here). To get to our next destination Jaipur, we took an overnight train (fun times!). In Jaipur we saw the City Palace, Jantar Mantar, and the Amber Fort. After Jaipur we left for Agra, which is, of course, the famed location of the Taj Mahal. On the way there we stopped at Fatehpur Sikri, which is basically an abandoned Mughal city. In Agra we saw the Taj (which was well worth the entire trip), the Red Fort, and Sikandra. From Agra it was back to New Delhi, where we saw too many things to name here.
When I got back to the U.S., everyone wanted to know "How was India?" and "What is it like there?". Most of the time I didn't know how to answer these questions without sounding negative, disheartened, and ethnocentric. It's not that I didn't enjoy India, or that I hated my experience, or anything like that. India is an overwhelming place to visit, more so than any other place I've ever been. It's full of dirt, body odor, cows, orange, spices, ramshackle buildings, and unpaved roads. India is like no other place in the world. You have to go there to really know what I mean. So why was it not one of my favorite places, like I always had thought it would be? Since I was a teenager I was obsessed with "Indian" things. There was the food, the colors, the literature, the henna! But what I thought of as India, this exotic country full of romance and history, was missing from the India I was seeing, the India that was real, or at least, real to me. Why had I ignored all the negative aspects of India that were clearly outlined in all those books I had poured over ferociously? Its like all those Bollywood movies; so beautiful and romantic, so different and cool. I saw glimpses of this India, the India of privilege, of beautiful people and things, of love and breathtaking landscapes. But more often than not, the privilege hid behind the thinly veiled poverty of the other 98% of Indians; the beautiful people were beautiful only because they were Northern, light skinned Indians, and "love" was really just arranged marriages between girls just entering puberty and women made old from toiling there days away taking care of everyone but themselves.
Yes, India is full of its own brand of beauty, that can not be destroyed despite its many problems. Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I was naive. I read the statistics without really understanding what they meant. I wanted a vacation and got a stressful, eye opening crash course in India instead. Do I regret it? No, of course not. How could I? When I learned so much? About myself. My capabilities, my weaknesses, my ignorance, and my extreme luck in being born into a family who has never wanted for anything. I am blessed. So next time you or I start to complain that we don't have enough of whatever it is that we WANT, remember that we already have it all and more. We are the blessed of this world. And we have nothing to complain about.

India: An Introduction

2010-09-11T10:20:00.003-07:00

How does one start to describe India, the country, or more importantly, India, the experience? The popular euphemistic descriptor of “developing nation” does not begin to describe the difference between our day to day life in the Western World versus the life of a typical Indian. Let me give you a few illustrative facts. There are 1.18 billion people living in India. 14 million people live in Mumbai, which is the largest city in the world. 50% of those 14 million live in slums and shanty towns. India holds 30% of the world’s total poor (those living below the poverty line) and of its entire population, 30% live on less than $1 a day.

Despite these sobering statistics, India has made significant leaps in the last decade towards economic development. They now proudly call themselves “largest democracy in the world”. The country still has a long way to go, to say the least. It is hard to ignore the glaring fact that most (if not all) of the splendor of India is encompassed in forts, castles, and mosques that are 300+ years old. In the coming years, India’s people, who are its most valuable commodity, will hopefully begin to rebuild the country, and give its citizens a beauty equal to that of the India of old. Until then, tourists can be privy to the India of the 21^st century, a India that is both beautiful and dirty, poor and hopeful, fragile and proud.

Wisdom Teeth Removal for Dummies:A Guide to the ins and outs of getting your wisdom teeth removed

2010-03-02T22:09:00.003-08:00

1o Tips to help you survive during and after surgery

Tip 1: Get knocked out when you have those most inconvenient teeth removed.

This one is a no brainer. Who wants to be awake when various implements of mouth torture are busy cutting through bone, gum, tissue, and nerves? Not me!

Tip 2: Take lots of painkillers for the first 3 days after removal.

I recommend Loratab. I took one of these nice pills every 6 hours, with a 800 mg Ibuprofen in between doses. I can honestly say that I did not feel anything.

Tip 3: Have a wonderful caretaker lined up to help you out for at least the first 2 days.

Sisters are the best option, followed by mothers. If you don't have either, settle for a significant other.

Tip 4: For at least 1 week after surgery refrain from exercising, smoking, using straws, drinking alcohol, eating grainy food, eating hard food, eating food that comes in small pieces, eating anything too hot, or too spicy, or too acidic, opening your mouth too wide, yawning, etc.

I would give you the complete list but then you might just decide to overdose on the provided prescriptions.

Tip 5: Ice your face for the first 2 days after surgery. Place heat on your face for at least a few days after that.

I am not a doctor or a oral surgeon, and so do not understand the science behind the cold vs. heat dilemma. What I do know is that if you only use the cold method, your chances of getting dry socket are increased dramatically. Believe me. I know.

Tip 6: If you do develop dry socket, give yourself at least 1 extra week of refraining from all the above things.

Do not break this rule. See below for consequences.

Tip 7: Do not push yourself too early on getting back on your feet. Chances are that by trying to speed up recovery you will actually be slowing it down.

Exercising too early is a big no-no. When you start to taste blood in your mouth within the first 15 minutes of cardio and your wounds feel like it has a pulse of its own, STOP exercising! Dislodging a blood clot for the sake of burning a few hundred calories is not worth it.

Tip 8: Give yourself 3-5 days of intense recovery time.

This means no work, school, etc for at least 3 days. Take some days off. And enjoy them.

Tip 9: Have appropriate drinks and food on hand and prepared before the surgery.

I recommend smoothies, pudding, applesauce, broth, ice cream, and mashed potatoes. They were all I ate for 4 days.

Tip 10: Have entertainment options on hand to subdue the boredom.

This can be anything-movies, TV shows, sympathetic friends, friends who want to see you stoned out of your mind, whatever! Bottom line: when you are on Loratab you will not care the quality or in what form the entertainment comes in. You'll most likely fall asleep within the first 15 minutes of any of the above options anyway.

For more tips, feel free to send questions directly to my blog comment box. Thank you.

Concerts Galore

2010-02-04T16:23:00.001-08:00

I love music. I love live music. I won't bore you with a discussion of how much music rules my life. Becuase I already did (See Music My Love).

I wish I could go to a concert every week. My favorite concerts are in small venues with absolutely no seating. Concerts where you can smell, taste, and feel the music. You know what I mean if you've been to one.

Here are some concerts I've been able to go to in the last few months, along with my rating on the overall experience.

Jupiter One
***/****

Regina Spektor
**/****

Heartless Bastards
***/****

Wolfmother
****/****

Rooney
***1/2/****

Tally Hall
***/****

Jealous?

Concerts to look forward to:
The Wailers- 3/11
Tegan and Sara- 4/6
Spoon- 4/7
Citizen Cope- 4/16

Spiraling out of Control...

2010-01-28T16:19:00.002-08:00

I have always been fascinated with spiraling out of control on staircases. Not really but it sounds trippy, right? What I mean is I have always been fascinated with spiral staircases that are out of control.

If you don't believe me, read my older post Staircases here.

So when my sister sent me a link to a photo montage entitled 101 Dizzying Spiral Staircases & Twisted Architectural Art Photos, I was more than thrilled.

For some of the photo highlights, look no further than this blog post.

Twisty and trippy, right? Can you imagine looking down at the top of one of these things?

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-12T16:46:00.001-08:00

I'm not a fan of New Year's Resolutions. Never have been. I think they are a fast and dirty way for people to set goals they won't follow through on.

That's not to say that resolutions are not good to make in theory. Who doesn't enjoy the idea that the new year can bring with it a new person with goals and ambitions and drive? Yeah...

The problem is that these goals rarely, if ever, effect resounding change in our lives. How many of us have made our lists, maybe on cute scrapbook worthy paper or on our blogs or in our journals, only to find that as the paper gets torn or as the post get indexed or tabbed that we begin to conveniently forget about our resolutions?

If I were to make a resolutions list, first on it would be to actually read my resolutions once a week (if not more often) and to write down specific short and long-term benefits I will receive from each goal. I would also only write down resolutions that are within reason. For example, one year in high school I resolved to "write the next great American novel". Yeah, I don't think so! A 16 year-old can barely get out of bed let alone write a 200+ page work of fiction that is actually good.

Now I am not going to share with you my resolutions list (because frankly I didn't make one!) but I do want to share with everyone what I learned from the U.S. government and from church on Sunday about resolutions.

Top resolutions for Americans (As told by the U.S. government):

Drink Less Alcohol
Get a Better Education
Get a Better Job
Get Fit
Lose Weight
Manage Debt
Quit Smoking
Reduce Stress at Work
Save Money
Take a Trip
Volunteer to Help Others

I think it is just a little sad that only one focuses on others as opposed to "me."

And then to what I learned at church from the article "Resolutions" by Joe J. Christensen. His top 4 resolutions for every year:

expand my intellectual horizons
preserve and strengthen my physical health
be a truer friend
grow spiritually

Simple yet profound.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Trivani Spotlight

2009-12-17T14:53:00.004-08:00

Trivani Foundation spotlighted me today on their blog Trivani Field Notes. Go read the post here. For some background about my involvement with Trivani, read this post.

Take a look at some of the people Trivani has helped.

This one warms my heart. :)

Crime and Punishment: A Comparitive Analysis of American vs. Foreign Justice

2009-12-05T17:23:00.001-08:00

I was wondering today if my decision to not go to Taiwan (or to teach abroad at all for that matter) was influenced at all by the sordid tales I hear from the media of crimes against American nationals in foreign countries.

I am thinking specifically of Amanda Knox and Devon Hollahan. Amanda Knox- the girl that most Americans seem to believe was framed (or at least abused) by the Italian police and courts. I can hear every parent in American warning their kids about the dangers of non-American judicial systems. Systems where, like in most countries outside our borders, a person is guilty until proven innocent.

Now I could rattle off lists of complaints and problems with the U.S. Judicial system, our courts, our government, and American legal mores. But the fact of the matter is, I have nothing to complain about comparatively! Am I being held under house arrest, just because I believe in freedom and democracy like Aung San Suu Kyi? Man I am glad I do not live in Burma...

Or am I being held, like Amanda is, in a foreign jail for over 2 years, for a crime I may or may not have committed? Now that Amanda was found guilty, what does that say about American justice vs. international justice? Could Americans, just for being American, be targeted as the harbingers of crime?

What about in the case of Devon Hollahan? I read about his case when my friend who is teaching English abroad in the Czech Republic starting posting that one of her fellow American teachers had gone missing during a weekend trip to Frankfort. What is odd about the case of Devon is that he literally vanished into thin air. One minute he was standing next to his friend, and the next minute he was gone. Does that happen in America? Well, yes. Of course it happens.

But why we hear about people like Amanda and Devon is because we expect and understand that there is crime in America and we believe (for the most part) that the American judicial system will punish criminals and protect victims. We do not believe, I would argue, that other countries can and will do the same. This also makes me think of the case of Madeleine McCann, the little British girl that went missing while her family was vacationing in Portugal. After months with few leads, Madeleine's mother began making statements not only about the lack of any kind of system in the Portuguese government for dealing with missing persons cases, but also extended that to her own home country. She blamed the Portuguese, and in extension, the entire European justice system for the lack of definitive results in the case, calling them "20 years behind the Americans."

I have never been the victim of a crime. I was never a criminal. But I have made, and continue to make, decisions that are technically illegal. And that is because I trust that our judicial system will recognize the fact that I am not a criminal, I am merely human. Yes I make occasional bad decisions, but doesn't everyone? This brings me back to Amanda Knox. Her alibi for the night that her roommate was murdered was that she was over at her boyfriends toking it up. What she was pretty much saying is that she does illegal things but is not a murderer or a criminal. Seems pretty logical? Yeah, the Italian courts didn't think so either.

Would the same thing that happened to Amanda in Italy happen in the U.S.? I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that Amanda would much rather be tried in an American court of law than an Italian one. As I am sure Devon and Madeline's parents would have preferred that they had gone missing in their home countries.

I for one would prefer to not ever be considered either a victim or a criminal. But if I was labeled either, I would want it to be in the U.S.

The point is, I am happy I am allowed to spit out my gum on the sidewalk (Singapore), or watch and read media from more than one source (China, etc.), or protest against something I believe to be wrong (Iran, etc). More than anything, I am grateful for my own ability to be a complete pain in the ass, to espouse Marxist ideology, or to believe and practice Scientology. And that is the glory of America--you can be all those things and still be "American" instead of a "enemy of the state." Isn't freedom beautiful?

Drumroll please....

2009-12-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

And the announcement is....

I am

NOT

going

to.....

TAIWAN.

Though I got offered a teaching job there. And I am sure it would have been great. But when it's not right, it's not right.

Plus I'd really miss these faces.

And these ones too.

So moving on to other decisions:

Where to live when my contract ends in 2 weeks (better get a move on this one!)
Where to go to Graduate school
To take test prep or to not
If I need to go back to school for classes (This might actually be fun, albeit expensive)
If I should move and establish residency in CA. Hmm...beaches sound very tempting this time of year.

What I keep telling myself is one thing at a time.

Kelly's Quilts

2009-11-22T06:17:00.001-08:00

My mom is an amazing craftswoman. She has always had a the wonderful talent of being able to quilt various fabrics together and create something beautiful.

This has always been more of a hobby for her, but recently she decided she might try to turn this hobby into something more. If you or anyone you know is interested in handmade quilts check out her website on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/kldquilt.

The Bloomsbury Cafe- I'm in book club heaven!

2009-11-19T21:00:00.001-08:00

Quite a while back, my friend Alicia and I were discussing how much we missed discussing literature. I think we both equally missed the intellectual stimulation of undergraduate education, and especially of our English major courses. Alicia was the first to come up with the idea of a book club. Fast forward a couple of months to the creation of our very own English major book club- The Bloomsbury Cafe. Right now the cafe consists of Alicia Johnson, Megan Welton, and Kristi Peters Millett.

To start the club off, Alicia sent us a series of questions, the answers of which you can find below. After that we got our first reading assignment- Toni Morrison's A Mercy. My response to the book will be coming soon. For now, enjoy the reading below!

1. Name: Krystal Nanette Downs (http://krystaldowns.blogspot.com/
2. Favorite place you have lived: Camarillo, California
3. Place you would like to live if you could: Can I pick more than one? Ireland. Southern California. Italy.
4. What do you do when you aren't reading? I WORK. Right now I have a full-time job and and what feels like a full-time internship. When I have the occasional spare moment, I enjoy swimming, riding my bike, going to bookstores (that doesn't count right?), dancing, listening to a wide array of music, laying in the sun, meeting new people, traveling, watching trashy T.V. shows, and going to the beach if I'm near one.
5. 3 favorite films: Right now they are: Fargo, The Hours, The Departed
6. 3 favorite foods: Sushi, fruit, Indian
7. Major, specialty in major if any: English. Minors: sociology and women's studies
8. Favorite literary time period: Post-modern lit/post 1950's.
9. 3 favorite books and why: 3 favorites! Well if I have to choose...

God of Small Things by A. Roy. I read this book a long time ago, and so cannot completely explain why I love this book so much. I always loved the fairy tale type storytelling that one find in Indian literature, so I know that is part of it. I remember this book touching me on so many different levels. It was one of those books that stays with you long after you read the last line. I love Roy's language that seems playful and tragic. So many simple phrases knocked me down with their power. She breaks all the rules of language in all the right ways. Her moral judgements on her characters are clear and brutal. And her judgements on her readers are unbending; not once was I allowed to break free from her words and the critique behind them.
Here is an excerpt: "Perhaps it's true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house---the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture---must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstituted. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story." AWESOME!

Anna Karenina by Tolstoy
I took a Russian Literature class while at BYU and loved it. It gave me an excuse to read so many brilliant books. I had read Anna Karenina on my own before, but fell in love with it the second time around. The characters are all so hopeless; I wanted to shake them all and say look at what you're doing, ruining your life, for what? In this case, most of the characters are ruined because of love or at least what looks like love. My favorite character by far is Levin who is always searching for something, be it truth or love, and never can seem to find it.
His thoughts and speeches are so remarkably poignant, that when I was reading the novel I wanted to underline everything. That is how quotable Anna Karenina is.

Lolita by Nabakov
I know Alicia is squirming right now. I really do love this book though. Yes, the characters and themes are a little disturbing. But I love his writing more than almost anyone else I've read. I feel like each of Nabakov's sentences are words of poetry. He makes pedophilia, incest, and the most vile and disgusting sound and look beautiful. You can really see that he is a true master of language.
Just listen to his genius first lines: Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita. Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.
Nabokov would always tell people that he thought in images and that letters and words for him were colored (literally). Not surprising considering language like the above, no?

10. How do you like to approach literature? Do you have a particular reading strategy you usually employ? My inclinations push me towards a feminist approach, although I do think that if one is a true critical reader, one must look at literature from many, if not all, modes of reading. I also have a deep love of Marxist criticism. Down with the man!
One of the specific strategies I like to employ is a kind of reader response. If I find something profound, I highlight it. If I have a thought that needs out, I write it down in the margins. These notations often help me connect previous concepts to current and future themes.

11. What does literature "do" for you? Or in other words, why spend the time? My love of books began at a very early age. I used to love to read simply for the juvenile pleasure of it. Now that I am much older and wiser :) books mean so much more to me. Books make the world seem smaller, they make the differences between people seem insignificant. Reading connects me to experiences and feelings I might not have felt had it not been for a book or character. Literature pushes me to think critically, to challenge norms, to question authorities and truths. Literature makes the small things big. It makes me and you and everyone significant. It makes us all beautiful.

12. The really big question--how do you know Alicia? I met Alicia my Junior year of college (Fall 2006) when I moved into the condo at Victoria Place II. She was my room roommate. I was constantly amazed that I had got so lucky; we both got along extremely well, and were both English majors. She would give me advice about what professors to take classes from, and was continually encouraging me to be and do better. I really enjoyed being her roommate for that semester.

On moving forward

2009-11-15T07:23:00.001-08:00

I wanted to update everyone on some progress I have made as of late. I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do and where I want to be in the next couple of years. Now I have been thinking about these things ever since I graduated last year. In fact, I would say that I think about the future more than I probably think about anything else. As everyone knows, thoughts don't always necessitate action, which was pretty much my life story this past year. The past couple of months though, I have been consistently acting so that all my planning and hoping will eventually turn into my reality.

Like a blogged about in my last post, I have been working at Trivani Foundation on the side. In addition to Trivani, I have also been applying for a few international teaching jobs. The one I am mainly interested in is in Taiwan, where I would work as a English language teacher. I already completed the entire interview process, and will find out in a week or two if I was successful. If they offer me a job, it would most likely start in January, so I would have a lot to think about in not a lot of time.

I have also been looking more and more into graduate school (which I am now 80% sure will be preferable to law school). I recently got to talk to a few reps from different International Policy/Development/Politics programs and have learned a lot. For one, I will most likely have to take a few dreaded Economics and Statistics courses in order to apply. What is harder, I would probably have to take more language courses. Oh joy. Meaning MORE school before graduate school.

I feel serious now. I like having a plan, and I think I am finally ready to put that plan into motion.

Wish me luck (and some extra time)!

On a unrelated note, I dyed my hair red. Maybe I am going through a personal crisis....?

What I have been working on

2009-11-04T01:05:00.003-08:00

I know I have fallen off the earth lately. But this time I have a really good reason. I have been working as the Public Relations Coordinator for Trivani Foundation, a local non-profit (on top of doing my "normal" 9-5 job). This has involved a lot of late nights and not a whole lot of social activites.

My main responsibility thus far has been the creation and development of the foundation's blog. I began working on this beast in September. Yesterday, we went live!

Please, if you care anything for me (or the human race) check it out at: http://www.trivanifieldnotes.wordpress.com/.

This is my baby. Treat it well!

BTW, you can also check out the foundation's website at http://www.trivanifoundation.org/.

The 5 Love Languages: Bogus or not?

2009-10-05T00:34:00.001-07:00

Over the weekend I got to spend time with my family. It was fun, especially listening to my dad and grandpa talk A LOT. Just kidding pops 1 and 2.

Anyway, a friend Christina, who is a social worker and a certified relationship counselor (hahaha. kidding on that one) enlightened me on the concept of the 5 Love Languages. Basically, this marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman wrote this book after he was tired of hearing all these couples complain about not understanding their significant others. Its premise is that there are 5 different languages of love that people speak: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. The language you speak defines what you see love as. Chapman believes that many couples get into problems because their languages don't match up.

Example: Say you really feel warm and fuzzy when your significant other buys you chocolate; that is because you approximate gifts with love. But what if you buy your hubby socks and he is left feeling unloved and dissatisfied. That is because gifts are not one of his languages of love. Even if you see it as an expression of love, he does not. Big problem, right?

I took the test last week, despite the lack of a significant other (I know you are thinking pathetic, because I know I am!) I have two primary languages of love since they were basically on equal ground: Acts of Service and Quality Time.

I gave the test to both my parents over the weekend. They both got Act of Service as their primary language. Good marriage=similar language of love?

Maybe. But I am a little skeptical. I mean, how many people out there are really Gifts (no offense)? And look at the book's cover. Is that corny or what? Who says "mate" anymore?

Whether you believe it or not, it was still fun to take it and see the result.

Take it here.

For my sister

2009-09-18T01:18:00.005-07:00

This post is dedicated to my awesome little sister, Mary.

Mary and I have always had a complicated relationship. From the moment she touched down on this earth, I resented her for taking away a part of the parental love and attention that I had become accustomed to owning the entire rights to.

Growing up, we had a healthy relationship between sisters. We played barbies together. She stole my favorite barbie. I ripped the head off her Ken doll. We both hated each other for a week. That sort of thing.

A lot of the problems stemmed from the fact that Mary and I are so different. I'm confrontational, she is not. I talk through problems with others, she deals with them on her own. I am more of a talker, she is more of a thinker. She likes Oasis, I like Coldplay.

Now that we're both adults, our relationship has strengthened. That's not to say that we still don't fight, because believe me, we do. But we work it out, because we both know how much we love each other.

Here are some things I know about Mary. She's a good person to have in a fight. I know she doesn't look it, but this tiny girl has a strength and toughness that I am constantly jealous of.

Mary can get through anything. She can deal with her problems without having to bitch and moan about it to everyone within hearing distance.

She is adaptable (another thing I am jealous of).

She is smart, but not pretentious.

She is talented in almost everything, a fact that justifies my constant jealously at least a little.

She is fearless.

She is always there when you need to cry or talk or let it all out. And she will listen to you, if only at the end to tell you that you are ridiculous, and that life is good.

She is beautiful, even without makeup on.

Just because she's quiet, doesn't mean she's not responding to those around her. She's just thinking about what's being said.

Mary can do anything and be anything.

I know in my heart that we were meant to be sisters. I have learned so much from you, Mary, and am excited to see where your life will take you. I never could have asked for more than what we have. You have given me your friendship, you love, and your forgiveness (which I continually need) throughout the years. Think about all the things we have done, and all the things we have yet to do. With all the hard times, the moving, the teenage horror years, the moods, the separations, we have made it through it all. Its been a great 21 years. I can't wait for 50 more!

Love you! And Happy 21st birthday.

Your sister,

Krystal

I get by with a little help from my friends...

2009-09-18T00:01:00.002-07:00

This post is dedicated to Christina Andreadakis Montgomery.

I met Christina during my freshman year of college, when I was having a particularly hard time adjusting at BYU. I don't remember the first time we talked but I do remember distinctly the first time we bonded.

It was the night before Christmas break. I was busy packing for home, and was excited to be leaving my cramped dorm room for my home in Pennsylvania. Christina came into my room and we starting talking, about our hometowns, our families, and the break. About all the things that seem to matter but yet don't. Not really at least. I had put on a tough face during that semester to the outside world. I smiled, laughed, and talked with the friends I had made. But when my mom or dad or best friend would call, I would break down and cry and talk and cry more. I realize now that I was emotionally starved that first semester. I didn't have anyone I could talk to on my floor, or in my classes, about the things that mattered. With my family I had to let out all the things I had been wanting to say and all the thoughts I had wanted to share, but couldn't, since the last phone call.

That night I had my first real conversation with someone at college. We talked about choices, and mistakes, and imperfections. We talked about what we felt and what we hoped for. That night I talked from my heart and ignored my head. That night was the beginning of something great.

Five years later, that talk has multiplied into thousands of "heart to hearts". Because that's what they really are. With my heart touching yours and yours mine, we have talked through the days and the years. We have talked our way through graduation, and through your marriage. We have talked our way through our careers and have dreamed of our future lives. We have talked our way through a fair share of less than worthy boys and men, and through all the complications and heartaches that go along with love.

You showed me how to look for the less obvious treasures in life. To really listen to music. And to apply it all to life and how to live it. You have continually been a example to me of determination and hard work. You have shown me forgiveness is possible. That people deserve second and third chances. To not judge anyone. To persevere despite one's circumstances. To figure out what you believe, and to live it. And that sometimes, all we really need is for someone to listen to us.

Christina models her life around the idea that everyone deserves a chance, a chance to be heard, a chance to be loved, a chance to feel that they deserve something more than the cards life has dealt them.

Thanks, Christina. For always listening. For always being there. For loving me through it all. You are all that I could ask for in a friend. Love you! Happy late birthday!

Iron and Wine

2009-08-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

The band of the day-Iron and Wine.

Why? I'm going to see them tonight in Salt Lake for free. Jealous?

Songs I really hope they play: "Naked As We Came", "Flightless Bird, American Mouth", "Such Great Heights", "The Trapeeze Swinger", "New Slang", and "Love & Some Verses".

Best album: Our Endless Numbered Days

Quote from the Lead Singer: "I had all these songs lying around. They had all these woman characters, and I thought the idea of the Woman King would be a good way to tie them all together." Sam Beam

I think I will like this guy. I wonder if he is as crazy as he looks?

Lack of Bloggage, among other topics

2009-08-18T02:13:00.000-07:00

I realized recently that my blog is pretty lame. I am a blogger who never blogs who has a blog that is never blogged on. Does that sound as pathetic to you as it does to me?

Well there are various reasons for my lack of bloggage, but it really comes down to the fact that I have way too many commitments to fulfill in the amount of time I have been given. In the past month (maybe longer...) I have let down my friends and my blog followers with a gross lack of communication on my part. The unanswered calls, messages, and the lack of bloggage for 6 weeks straight tell all. I am truly sorry. I don't know how people do it. I honestly don't.

I now find myself having to choose every day between whether to get a decent amount of sleep or to actually see my friends and engage myself, once again, in society. A couple years ago I would have been all for society. I could go on little to no sleep and not embarrass myself as a walking zombie among living, normal, non-sleep deprived humans. As a student you are supposed to hold strange hours. I remember it being normal to go to bed at four in the morning and wake up at 11. It was exciting then, living in the dead hours, while everyone else slept and dreamed and missed the night.

But once reality hit (meaning graduation), I entered the world of full-time, American wage earners. This world is defined by many things, among which include, but are not limited to:
1. Dreary, long days, hours, minutes, seconds....I'm not counting I swear!
2. The lack of sleep- see zombie comment above. Less sleep for workers does not equal more time for play, but more time for work. FUN.
3. The lack of definitive self outside of the worker self- when you spend the majority of your time at your job, as most workers do, your job starts defining you (instead of the other way around). Most of us will spend twice as much time with our coworkers as we spend with our spouses, children's, family, and friends.
4. The lack of time- when you work all day and sleep all night, the hours that are left in between the two can be anywhere from zero (yes that is right!) to 6 hours. (6 hours seems like a lot, but after making dinner, running various errands, etc we'll both see how much is left, and then compare notes. :-))
5. The loss of personal relationships-I could rant about this one forever. What happened to all that time I used to have devoted to maintaining my relationships with those around me? Now I have to pencil you in, and schedule a time for us to do that. It's sad really. I have to micro-manage my recreational time.

The list could go on. I don't want to bore you. So I won't.

I'll just end with a thought.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.- Homer Simpson

Trip down memory lane

2009-07-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

My First Kiss...with my cousin. Man I miss that ugly blanket, and our equally ugly orange couch.

Me in our backyard in Camarillo. Our garden kind of looks dead in the background.

Halloween as a clown. Without the nose and paint.

Mary and I swimming.

Christmas in Calfornia.

Me now. Not as cute, I know. This is on a B-17 World War II Plane.

Big action

2009-06-06T22:28:00.000-07:00

Action. It isn't hard to do....right? I mean we act ALL the time. Right now I am actively typing this blog post. Maybe you are actively reading it. These are undoubtedly actions. But are they definitive actions?

This is where I must stop for a brief moment and define two terms. Action, as in, the state of doing, is related to, but fundamentally separate from what I will call big action. Big action involves anything a person does that fundamentally changes their life path. These are the decisions that move us from one life (literally) to a new life. Let me make one distinction. A big action is ALWAYS in our control. Thus, big actions do not include acts that disrupt and move our old life into a new one against our will. A person who chooses to cross a street and then gets hit by a car is not acting the big act. Their life was disrupted and replaced by a new one, yes. But their act to cross the street is still just an act. Unless they chose to get hit by the car when they crossed the street, their act could never be a big act.

So big acts have two, necessary elements:
1. They are chosen by the actor.
2. They create new life.

I think big action is one of the hardest things any of us can do. Why is that? As I have thought this over, I came up with the three most debilitating elements to big action:

1. getting too comfortable
2. laziness
3. fear

These three things cause in-big-action. The consequences that come from it are numerous. In-big-action keep us all from reaching our full potentials. It forces us to be coasters instead of actors/doers/choosers in our own lives. It causes unhappiness, discontent, and anxiety. And why wouldn't it? It's not like all of us don't think about actually doing the big act. We do. A LOT! Which feeds the fire of inactivity even more. I think most of us are able to dream up grand things for ourselves. When we were children we thought we could be prima ballerinas and pro-football players and astronauts. We pretty much thought we could rule the world. What happened? I believe most of us adults still think we can achieve those elusive dreams, though we may be more practical about. Maybe I can't be a prima ballerina, but maybe I will be able to own my own dance studio. Things like that. We adapt our dreams because we recognize our ability levels. And that's okay.

What is NOT okay is constantly fearing the big-actions. It is getting too comfortable in that house you've lived in all your life, surrounded by people you've know forever. It is settling for less because we're afraid we could never get more. It is always thinking and thinking, until it makes us forget the value of acting. It is never taking chances.

How does one break free from inaction? How do we get rid of fear, laziness, of the comfortable? I have yet to answer this question in my own life. But I do have the words of those who have big-acted before me, and I take comfort in the simplicity of their words.

To begin, begin. Peter Nivio Zarlenga

If you keep thinking about what you want to do or what you hope will happen, you don't do it, and it won't happen. Joe Dimaggio

You must act as you breathe. Georges Clemenceau

I agree the most with Goethe...
Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

And to conclude with the famous slogan of those shoe-making geniuses....
Just Do It. Nike

The Did's and Didn't's

2009-05-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

Life/Future

Did: Start a Peace Corps application.
Didn't: Complete it.

Did: Buy a LSAT study book.
Didn't: Read it.

Did: Research publishing companies in San Diego.
Didn't: Apply for a publishing job in San Diego.

Did: Make some spiritual/religious goals.
Didn't: Act on them.

Exercise/Health

Did: Plan to go running.
Didn't: Actually go running.

Did: Eat Subway and cheesecake for lunch.
Didn't: Worry about the money, calories, or sugar intake of said food.

Work

Did: Plan to be productive at work today.
Didn't: Get as much done as I wanted/needed to.

Did: Get a paycheck today.
Didn't: Spend it on a new laptop (yet!!!).

Family/Friends

Did: Go see two sets of grandparents in southern Utah.
Didn't: Get to see my family, who are too far away for a holiday weekend trip.

Did: Reconnect with someone.
Did: Disconnect with someone.
Didn't: Call a lot of people who deserve to be called.

Did: Feel love for all my family, including all my sisters (who I love as much as my blood sisters). You know who you are.
Didn't Ever think that anyone else had a better family than mine.

Dentist Horror

2009-05-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

I think they should make a film about killer dentists. You know why? Because dentists suck! I don't think they realize the pain and agony they put people through, honestly I don't.

Recently, I went to the dentist's office for the bi-annual cleaning/check-up. I was a little worried that I had a cavity because one of my teeth has been extra sensitive the past couple of months. Well, it turns out I did not have a cavity (thank God!). This is most likely NOT due to the fact that I have good oral hygiene (I don't...) but instead due to the fact that I cannot handle pain, needles, especially in my mouth. Thus, I am convinced I will never have a cavity because I would just roll up into a ball on the dentist's semi-clean floor and start screaming (which would be too embarrassing to fathom).

My experience, despite the lack of cavity-horror/dentist-torture, was still pretty dang horrifying. First off, the hygienist AND dentist kept asking me questions. Now, I don't know about you, but how many people can answer 'What their major' is with their mouth full of metal prongs and a unknown chalky-like substance? It's next to impossible. Why do they even try? So I have to attempt to be polite and answer with my mouth full, the result being that I spew out all said liquid agents around the office and bite down nastily on the metal dental torture device.

The other thing that really sucked was that the hygienist snapped the cemented-on, back, bottom retainer thing that has been permanently in my mouth ever since I got by braces off in 8th grade. How does one even do that? This was definitely evidence that some people (like sadists and dental hygienists) get waaayy too excited when torturing new victims.

And to top it all off? I have to get my two wisdom teeth removed. Oh joy! I think I may just die right now.

The Mother's Day Proclamation

2009-05-08T02:53:00.001-07:00

I came across this awesome proclamation while surfing the web today. It was written by a early feminist who was truly ahead of the times named Julia Ward Howe. Amidst all the carnage left over from the Civil War, she called for not only a national day to celebrate American mothers, but also for peace and solidarity in a country that had seen neither in a long time. I love how she calls for a "congress of women" to come together and promote political ideals that are more in line with modern times than with her own. She is an inspiration to all women, and especially to all mothers who continue to "teach...charity, mercy, and patience."

As a side note: Julia Ward Howe was also the author of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," which is, incidentally, about the abolition of slavery. Martin Luther King's last public words were "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord," which is the song's first line. Cool huh?

Mother's Day Proclamation

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts,

Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:

"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,

Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country

To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.

It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.

"Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,

Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

Whereby the great human family can live in peace,

Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

But of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

That a general congress of women without limit of nationality

May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll get what you need"

2009-04-28T17:30:00.001-07:00

I was reminiscing today by going through old blog posts, most of which were written during my brief hiatus in Singapore between graduation and my move back to Utah. The irony: in one post (dated July 31,2008) I list 3 simple things I want out of life...
to be independent
make money
live somewhere other than Utah

Well I guess I fulfilled two out of the three. I was just thinking about how life NEVER turns out how you imagine it to. I never would have thought I would be back in Provo, Utah after I graduated. I was ready to get the heck out of the entire state. But while I was in the exotic, ultra cool country of Singapore, I realized a few good things about the state:

1. The majority of my family lives here. I have my little sister Mary, all 3 sets of grandparents, and a ton of cousins, aunts and uncles. All of whom I love immensely.
2. Geography doesn't matter as much as one would think.
3. People NOT place will equal or subtract to one's happiness.
4. I have great friends who live here. Need I say more?

I also realized (after I was freaking out about the future for almost 6 months) that I have a lot of time to burn. There is no reason why I have to rush into anything, be it graduate school, law school, my dream career, or marriage. Life, we hope, will be long and eventful. It will be crooked, and crazy, and surprising. It will bring us to places we never thought we would go to. But, at least from my experience so far, it will always work itself out. Your life is NOT over if you do not find out or get exactly what you want right away. Where's the fun in that? Life would lose its mystery if we could imagine into life every single desire and dream. Just a thought. Going out to those who are (and might soon be) in the transitional, decision-making periods of life.

It was well worth the wait

2009-04-28T02:15:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't blogged in a very long time (emphasis on very) but I've been busy with many things, like moving to a new apartment, tutoring, working full time, going to Las Vegas, being sick with swine flu... (OK just the normal flu...)
But I wanted to share two things.

One is that it will be my goal to write on my blog at least twice a week. This is going to be hard because I really have next to no free time. BUT, it is my goal.

Second...today I learned that my family is moving to San Diego, California in June or July of this year. This means they will live over 8,000 miles closer to me than they did before! And, now they will live near a beach. Finally. I miss my family.

Recording your Family's History

2009-03-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

Here is a really great set of questions to ask your parents and grandparents. The information will be invaluable to you once they are gone. As Maya Angelou reminded, "We need to haunt the house of history and listen anew to the ancestors' wisdom." I plan on sending this off to my parents and all of my grandparents. I encourage you all to do the same.

CHAPTER 1: In the Beginning
1. What were your parents and grandparents full names, dates of birth, places of birth.
2. What were the occupations of your parents?
3. How many children were in your family? Where were you in the lineup?
4. Generally speaking, what was your childhood like?
5. What one or two stories do you remember most clearly about your childhood?
6. Are there any particularly happy, funny, sad or instructive lessons you learned while growing up?

CHAPTER 2: In Your Neighborhood
1. What was it like where you grew up?
2. Describe your most important friendships
3. Where and how did "news of your neighborhood" usually flow?

CHAPTER 3 School Days
1. Be sure to capture names and dates attended of grammar, high, colleges, trade or technical schools
2. What are your earliest school day memories?
3. Are there any teachers or subjects you particularly liked or disliked?
4. What did you learn in those first years of school that you would like to pass along to the next generation?
5. Were you involved in sports, music, drama, or other extra-curricular activities?

CHAPTER 4: Off to Work
1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
2. What was your first job, and how did you get it?
3. What was your first boss like? What did you learn from him or her?
4. Did you leave? Quit? Get promoted? Get fired?
5. Were you ever out of work for a long time? If so, how did you handle it?

CHAPTER 5 Romance & Marriage
1. What do you recall about your first date?
2. How did you know you were really in love?
3. Tell me how you "popped the question," or how it was popped to you.
4. Tell me about your wedding ceremony. What year? Where? How many attended? Honeymoon?
5. Tell me about starting your family.
6. Were you married more than once? How often?

CHAPTER 6: Leisure and Travel
1. What were the most memorable family vacations or trips you can recall?
2. What leisure time activities are you involved with?
3. What are your greatest accomplishments in this field?

CHAPTER 7: Places of Worship
1. Do you follow any religious tradition?
2. If so which one, and what is it like?
3. Have you ever changed faiths?
4. What role do your beliefs play in your life today?
5. What would you tell your children about your faith?

CHAPTER 8 War & Peace
1. Were you a volunteer, drafted or a conscientious objector?
2. If you didn't serve, what do you recall about being on the home front during the war?
3. What key moments do you recall about your service?
4. What would you tell today's young soldiers, sailors and fliers?

CHAPTER 9 Triumph and Tragedy
1. What were the most joyous, fulfilling times of your life?
2. Any sad, tragic or difficult times you'd care to share such as losing a loved one, a job, or something you cared about?
3. What lifelong lessons did you learn from these tough times? Joyous times?
4. Were there any moments you recall as true breakthroughs in any area of your life?
5. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would that be?

CHAPTER 10 Words of Wisdom
1. What have you learned over your lifetime that you'd like to share with the younger generation?
2. People will sometimes repeat aphorisms such as "honesty is the best policy." If they do, be sure to ask how they learned that life lesson.

CHAPTER 11: Funnybones
1. What were your family's favorite jokes or pranks?
2. Who is, or was, the family comedian? "Straight" man?
3. What's the funniest family story you remember?

CHAPTER 12 Thank You
1. What are you most grateful for you your life?
2. How have you taught your children to be grateful?
3. Are there items or places that mark special gratitude for the ones you love? What are they? What are their stories?

Final thought:

"I saw behind me those who had gone, and before me those who are to come. I looked back and saw my father, and his father, and all our fathers, and in front to see my son, and his son, and the sons upon sons beyond.And their eyes were my eyes. Richard Llewellyn

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families

2009-03-10T03:00:00.000-07:00

I have slacked off A LOT in the last few months. I have not been regularly writing on my blog. I have not written any book reviews. I wish I had the time to write about all the beautiful books I have read, but alas, I work full time and my laptop is finicky at best. But I just had to tell share a few of my thoughts of the book I am reading now.

We wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We will be Killed With Our Families By Philip Gourevitch is the story of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. As the title suggests, this book is NOT light reading. Readers know this from the very direct preface:I have read other books on Rwanda. Call me morbid for dwelling on humanity at its lowest, but I think there is a lot to be said about studying this subject. Pick your topic: greed, power, corruption, betrayal, ignorance-- its all there. What fascinates and horrifies me the most, though, is the the truly terrifying extent of human disinterestedness and apathy for their fellow kind. What makes people accustomed to murder? Where's the sympathy? Where is the call to action? I've thought a lot about what makes people care but not care enough. Most, I think (I hope), care when bad things happen to people, even if those people are strangers. But most people don't care enough. And how can you? How can we all make room in our busy lives, full of our own personal troubles and headaches, for another's pain? If one were to feel that much for so many, would they really be able to focus on anything else BUT the pains of the world?

Another lesson I have gleaned from my studies. A person is real in a way that people (plural) are not. Its easy for me to feel for that homeless child they did a news special on. She is real to me. I can imagine what it must be like for her. It is much harder for me to feel for a multitude of people; groups lose their individuality, their distinctness, their tangible humanity. Can I feel what it must have been like for the Rwandan dead? For those 800,000 or more who were tortured and killed? Can I understand the magnitude? I admit that on a purely surface level, 800,000 seems like a lot of people. But what does that number mean? When I look at 800,000, can I see 800,000 bodies, or do I just see the number, and nothing more? I believe that once I tragedy becomes quantifiable, it loses something important. It loses its ability to be relatable because it becomes something we see with our heads instead of our hearts/souls. When we begin to study things out with our heads, our compassion is replaced with apathy, and emotionality with rationality.

Yes. Rationally it doesn't make sense that 800,000 people died in 100 days. But it does rationally make sense that not much was done to stop it. Why would you or I or the United States meddle is something in which there is only potential loss. Loss of money, resources, time, lives, etc. In other words, why would anyone go into something with no promise of gain? Here are some noteworthy equations:

added power + added resources = action
no power + less resources = inaction.

It's really that simple.

Back to the book. Is it a little disorganized? Yes. The book goes from the personal account of a Tutsi survivor, to historical background relating to the French monarchy, to UNIMIR and its role in Rwanda. There is not a lot of guidance moving readers from topic to topic. The book is good about blending accounts. You can tell Gourevitch is a journalist. He gets down and dirty with all parties involved. He asks the tough questions. This book, like no other I have read on Rwanda's genocide, gives the story of the genocidaries, the Hutu killer, the UN secretary- general, UNAMIR, the French and Belgian governments, the RPF general Paul Kagame (interviewed before he become Rwanda's president), and even the now famous Paul Rusesabagina, owner of the Hotel Mille-Collins (Hotel Rwanda). It's all there.

I would recommend this book to almost anyone. So if you're looking for a book to read, and are not prone to depressive moods and suicidal tenancies when you watch the news, please go to the library and check it out. That's all.

The Soda Conundrum

2009-03-05T12:48:00.009-08:00

You know soda is unhealthy when you sit next to an open, almost full can of Pepsi and hear the contents sizzle and spit up who knows what acidic, chemical milieu of nastiness for three hours (I opened it at 12:30 and it is now 3:23!!!). I really need to lay off this dietary supplement. Especially since my "real" age is apparently 25. WTF? P.S. Does anyone actually know what phosphoric acid and citric acid is? Why am I drinking something with acid in it? Better yet, why am I drinking acids I know nothing about?

Obamicon

2009-02-17T09:30:00.001-08:00

You can do it too. Here.

What did I begin?

2009-02-12T18:46:00.001-08:00

When I was a senior in high school I applied to four colleges. FOUR. I got into two and the others...well it was their loss. The two I got into were BYU and Cal State Long Beach. Random? Yes. You see, I had no idea what I was doing when I was 16. I thought I wanted something specific out of college, explaining, perhaps, why I only applied to California schools willingly (BYU was to appease my mother, who thought I needed saving, which I did). Ironically, as everyone knows, I ended up going to BYU, though I swore I would never in a million years go there.

Let us fast forward now to 2006 when, to my surprise, my little sister Mary, who also swore she would never go to BYU, is practically forced to because her dream Ivy Leaguer turned her down (it was a shock to me too...). And now were to 2009, where my next sister Anna, who isn't as much of a hater and Mary and I, decides to give up her short-lived dream of going to a small liberal arts college in Ohio and applies only to BYU!!!! Anna, who had the most shot of NOT being forced to come here because she didn't get into her dream school (I guess what I didn't realize is that maybe BYU is Anna's dream school).

Regardless, I have now started a tradition in the Downs family that I have mixed feelings about. I want my siblings to go to the college they want to go to. If its BYU, great. It's a good place. And if I learned to love it, I think most people can. I just hope they don't come here because its 'the road already traveled'. Or because its easy.

Let me end with a poem by Langston Hughes, dedicated to all of us who dream big and are disappointed even bigger.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
I hope we can all have the guts to go after what we really want. It may be the hardest thing we will ever do.

I want this

2009-02-11T00:40:00.001-08:00

I'm curious if all of you like your laptops? Mine needs be taken to the nearest electronic dump very soon and I could use any suggestions you've got on laptops! BTW: The laptop I have now is a Compaq and it has lasted me 5 years! Should I switch to a Mac? Oh so tempting....???

Types of Revolutions

2009-02-04T21:34:00.000-08:00

There are two basic types of revolution.

The first= political revolution. This includes coups, civil wars, revolts, and all the "great revolutions" like the French Revolution and the American Revolution (as separated by sociologist Charles Tilly).

The second= social revolution. Now this gets kind of complicated. Theoretically, a social revolution is one in which both the social and political structures are "turned around". But literally, a social revolution is exactly what it denotes--a revolution that changes something fundamental about society as a whole. This can include changes in technology (the Green Revolution, the Industrial Revolution), changes in social mores (The Civil Rights Movement) or culture (The Sexual Revolution).

Theme of the Week

2009-02-02T01:10:00.000-08:00

I am now implementing a theme of the week on my blog. This will include all blog content, including, posts, pictures, quotes, colors, you name it.

theme • noun 1 a subject or topic on which a person speaks, writes, or thinks

Theme of February Week 1: Revolution.

Would you 'defriend' someone for a burger?

2009-01-30T00:08:00.000-08:00

I have it. Everyone nowadays has it. My dad even has it. As of January 2009, there are over 150 million people on the social phenomenon that is Facebook.

One of my favorite parts about Facebook is the add a friend feature, which allows anyone to look up and add whomever or whichever member/profile they choose. I love signing on and seeing that beautiful "you have a friend request" right up there in the right hand corner. (My mind as my eye views, from a distance, the F.R: Yes!!! people still love me.... I now have more friends that Moe Smow.... I guess I'm not a loser...man I'm popular....ugh that guy is totally stocking me, who IS THAT?).

It constantly amazes me the number of users who redefine the term 'friends' to mean a wide variety of people, including, but not limited to, acquaintances, a friend of a friend of a friend, that guy who sat across and down one in Bio, a person who shares the same last name as you (but who you are not, as it has it, related to) and that girl who called your sisters ex-boyfriend a manslut at that one family reunion when you were 12 (Ahhh good times...). I admit that I have been guilty of this occationally. We, are after all, naturally competitive beings. And winning means accumulating friends the same way one accumulates dead skin (which is A LOT)

It should not shock any current Facebook user to find out that they have been unfriended now and again, for various reasons that remained unknown to me. That is until I came across a article in the NY Times entitled "Friends, Until I delete You." It really is very interesting, but if you absolutely have no time to do anything except for read this blog post (which is (well will be) very long) don't you love double now triple parenthetical references!!!))) I will enlighten you as to the most amusing part of it.

Apparently Burger King, not too long ago, launched an ad campaign targeting Facebook users. While this is no surprise, what they offered, in exchange for any user deleting a specific number of his/her Facebook friend base, is rare indeed. This was their pledge: If you sacrifice 10 of your friends, we (Burger King) will give you a Whopper for FREE!!! Sounds pretty tempting, right? Well here's the catch--when you delete said friends for said sacrificial beef burger they will be sent a notification telling them you would rather eat cheap beef than be their online buddy (really you would rather eat a 1/10 of cheap beef, or roughly 11 grams). 11 grams, just in case you were wondering, is 1/2 of the weight of one's soul (see 21 grams)) which that person lost anyway by selling out their friends.

The problem with the whole campaign was that they didn't realize that according to official Facebook policy, a person is only notified when someone adds them as a friend, not when they have been deleted. So their campaign tanked. Ooops!

FYI...I found the following Stats from those lovely press people at Facebook. Enjoy.

General Growth
More than 150 million active users
More than half of Facebook users are outside of college
The fastest growing demographic is those 30 years old and older
User Engagement
Average user has 100 friends on the site
More than 3 billion minutes are spent on Facebook each day (worldwide)
More than 13 million users update their statuses at least once each day
Applications
More than 800 million photos uploaded to the site each month
More than 5 million videos uploaded each month
More than 20 million pieces of content (web links, news stories, blog posts, notes, photos, etc.) shared each month
More than 2 million events created each month
More than 20 million active user groups exist on the site
International Growth
More than 35 translations available on the site, with more than 60 in development
More than 70% of Facebook users are outside the United States

Staircases

2009-01-15T18:22:00.007-08:00

Did I ever mention that I love crumbling, spiral staircases? These, found on Arab Street in Singapore, look more like they belong in Prague or Istanbul.

Don't you wish you were sitting on the colorful steps, up against a rail, maybe painting a mural or closing your eyes as the sun heats the steps, your clothes, your skin? On these steps, it is always summer. And I am always sweating. I can't wait to return.

10 days and counting...

2009-01-09T14:12:00.006-08:00

In honor of the removal of George W. Bush from office in 10 days, 18 hours, 34 minutes and 52 seconds (who's counting?) here are some delicious "Bushisms" to tide you over until then. I hope you laugh as much as I did.

Bush on Education

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

Bush on Foreign Affairs

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

Bush on Health Care

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

Out of left Field/ Uncategorizable

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

Bush On Governing

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

For a complete list, see BBC's article entitled "The Misunderestimated President".

Good Headphones = Good Music = A Good Day

2009-01-08T09:03:00.002-08:00

To all lovers of music I make a semi-urgent plea-- if you are currently jamming on bad quality headphones, please go to the nearest store and upgrade. For the sake of quality tunes. Just do it. My new Koss headphones have changed my music life. After using the same CRAPPY IPOD headphones for going on five years I truly forgot that MP3 players can actually sound good.

Sidenote- this is no way was supposed to sound like a bad advertisement. I always knew my dad was wrong when he told me to go into advertising...

Water is the blood in our veins

2009-01-05T17:13:00.007-08:00

Water, my homeland

The heart of darkness

Who knew trees conquered water as well as land?

I live love laugh breathe the beach

A lone Singaporean fisherman

Man is small indeed next to the the ocean

There is nothing softer and weaker than water, And yet there is nothing better for attacking hard and strong things. For this reason there is no substitute for it.
-Lao-Tzu

I Heart Philly

2008-12-22T19:35:00.007-08:00

There are a variety if reasons to hate Philly. If you have ever been here, you probably know what I mean. Too much crime and poverty. Cemeteries on every corner and old, decrepit monuments and ruins left over from before Pennsylvania's official statehood (big shocker that The Sixth Sense took place in this truly creepy city). And don't get me started on the weather. All of this, and more, I realized on my first visit to the city.

And so, being in the general holiday, overly cheery mood, I decided that this time I would find the good in a city full of a whole lot of bad bad people (I am including me in this gross generalization...). Other than my grandparents, who are very good reasons to love any place, I have found another very specific reason to love this city.

H&M. It is that simple. If you have not been to this store, go now. Please, for the love of cheap, fashionable clothes. GO!!!!!!!

My little black Jetta

2008-12-18T14:37:00.007-08:00

About a month ago I purchased a 2001 Volkswagen Jetta. And I have to say that I am in love with my little car. It is black, small, and fast, and I am still amazed that I had the guts to buy it (it is a manual transmission...SCARY!!!) So far, to the amazment of all (especially Mary) I have survived the month without any accidents and with only a few minor mistakes (all involving stalling the car at inopportune moments). Knock on wood.

I have at this moment realized that I neglected to take any pictures of my sweet sweet ride. As such, the pictures you will find dispersed all over this post were found online, and are what my car looked like, I am sure, when it was made 7 years ago. Pictures of my actual car will follow, if I and you are lucky!

And this is how is looks today...

Musings on my month without health Insurance

2008-12-12T10:02:00.005-08:00

November 27, 2008 was an important date for me. It was the day of my 22nd birthday, it was thanksgiving, and it was, ironically, the day my health insurance coverage expired. (Thank you, oh blessed day of thanks, for taking away my right to get treatment...)

Now, I have never been one to think too far ahead, and insurance, at least for me, was always a vague concept I never quite understood or thought mattered in the general scheme of life. I have always had health insurance and that is why I think I never understood what it would be like to live without any kind of safety net against impending health disasters. Granted, I am not generally a sick person. My trips to the hospital have including my forced committal during my birth and two brief sessions to receive pain meds and saline when I had mono.

But the fact is, not having health insurance makes me nervous. Those who do not have it, like me, I am sure understand what I am talking about. The "what if" questions that are usually easy to avoid begin to come into the forefront of ones everyday thoughts. What if I get in a car accident? What if I get run over? What if I get a killer flu from my coworker and begin to vomit out my intestines? (Ok..To much?)

The point is, those things are all horrible, but they are made so much worse when your coworker gives you the killer flu and then you can't go to the hospital because you cannot pay to have them treat you. Or even worse, you try to go but they do not even treat the uninsured. Now, that is pathetic...

I shouldn't be complaining. I will only be part of the 45 million Americans who do not have health insurance for exactly 35 days. But 35 days is enough to scare me. And so I wonder...how scared are those 45 million people whose uninsured designation lasts longer than 35 days?

Is universal health care the right solution? I don't know. But I do know that health care is a necessity for everyone, even those without insurance. And if something is a necessity of life, shouldn't we be fighting harder for those, like me, who cannot afford to get sick?

100 Things I have done, or haven't...

2008-12-09T11:54:00.005-08:00

OK so I was reading my friend Whitney's blog today and came across this list. Feel free to copy this idea off of me as well. It is quite fun.
Rules: Bold anything in this list you have ever done. Thats it!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Ran a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own

My Thanksgiving did not have Pakistani terrorists featured in it...

2008-12-01T18:29:00.009-08:00

In honor of Thanksgiving

I'd just like to say

how blessed my life is

the beauty of today

And oh jeez is this poem gay...

Ok so enough of the bad poetry already. I wanted to write a post to commemorate thanksgiving in some way and couldn't help the above abomination. Sorry folks!

Moving on to the serious portion of this post. Thanksgiving reminded me of a lot, and not just the typical what I am grateful for fill in the blanks. What I thought of more than anything else was how ridiculously lucky I am. I thought of things I am thankful are not happening to me. Like I was glad I wasn't in Mumbai for the holidays. Or that I wasn't that Walmart guy who got trampled to death by crazy shoppers. I was pretty happy I'm not in Nigeria either, or for that matter, in most places in Africa.

The point is we have a lot to be thankful of in the positive sense of the word, but we also have a lot going for us that is NOT happening and that we hope will NEVER happen.

So smile and be thankful, for tomorrow you may be blown up by Pakistani terrorists ,(ok that was not funny...), engulfed by tree-like growths all over your rooted, barked body (It can happen!), or loose you hearing due to an excessively passionate and wet makeout session (see story). So be glad the only thing you have to worry about is whether or not Aunt Margie cooked your turkey enough so you don't have to worry about Salmonella!

Joining the ranks of the proletariat

2008-11-21T14:31:00.008-08:00

For all of you who don't already know, I have finally joined the ranks of full-time, "real" world workers. My official job title is Executive Administrative Assistant. I work for Rocky Mountain University of Health Professionals, which, I know, is a mouthful, but really is not that complicated. We are a graduate program university that offers various advanced and post-professional degrees in health-related topics. I work for the DPT program, which is the newest program being implemented at this growing university (DPT stands for Doctor in Physical Therapy). Anyway, the program is in its development stage, which is where I come in. I will be helping my boss Bob Sellin to create and prepare to receive our first class of students in January of 2010. I'm guessing there is a TON of stuff to do before then. The program design is still rough at best and there are only two of us to make it brilliant in less than one year.

So that is my job. I pretty much work with a bunch of doctors and science freaks....but its all good. And a lot of ex-Navy guys (Who knew?). There is another former English major working here as well so maybe I won't be so lonely. As of today I have been working here a week, and have learned both the good, the bad and the ugly of the job.

The good: I work at a university. Hello! I love academia and all those snotty intellectual types! And I have my own office.
The bad: There is no window in my office. The light source is motion-detector light, which turns off every 30 seconds if a don't twitch, wave and throw my box of tissues at it. Oh, and my office is pretty much in the unpopular, are there really other people in this world??? hallway. There are only two office that aren't vacant as of today. And I'm in one of them. And the guy in the other one doesn't talk.
The ugly: As I haven't gotten used to this schedule yet I am still going to bed at ungodly hours. Believe me, I am not a pretty picture in the morning. Hence, the ugly part.

Change has come

2008-11-05T09:32:00.010-08:00

Change has come, and this, I know, is making a lot of people nervous. They're nervous about Obama, about his health care plan, about his socialist leanings, and maybe even about his skin color. I have already heard many complaints about the election results, and predictions about the dismal state of affairs we will soon find ourselves in with Obama as president. To those people I have this to say: if you can't handle the results, then move. And don't just tell me you're fleeing to Canada. Actually do it. We don't want you here.

I also feel I need to explain part of the reason why NO ONE should be upset about what happened last night. This election was all about progress, about change, about, as Barack coined, the audacity of hope. We should all be SO honored to be in this country, a country that has come so far in the last 50 years, further and faster perhaps than any other in the history of the world. Who can not be proud and glad when they think of MLK and his dream, that dream that seemed so far off, so unbelievable that it was just that, a far-off fantastical vision of the potential world. That the dream has become a reality, no one can now doubt. And that is the beauty of this victory, because it is not just for Obama the man or Democrats as a party. This victory belongs to everyone who values freedom and equality. It is for those who love the American Declaration of Independence, which declared that "all men are created equal". (I of course would insert "and women"...) We finally can believe that equality is being achieved. That maybe the world is becoming a place where race, religion, and gender matter less than our characters. And that is beautiful.

Change, Oh how you disarm me...

2008-10-26T13:29:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking a lot recently about change, its meaning, its purpose, its aftereffects. My own personal battle with and against change is complicated. Growing up, anyone could probably tell you how much I despised change in all its forms. Most of all, I hated life-altering change. The kind that rips your life into little shreds and expects you to form a new picture out of the unrecognizable pieces. In my life, this change came in the form of the constant and dreaded moves my family would take every couple of years. We were a family of gypsies, and believe me when I tell you, it was not romantic, mysterious, or even remotely something to be wished for. Without a homeland, without that geographical center with which is identify with, I often felt lost and alone.
Growing up I hoped so much for consistency that I actually believed it was what could and would make me happy with my life. The funny thing about life, though, is that those things that made you who you are today, even the things you fought against, will always be a part of you, no matter how hard you try to push them out of existence. It took me a long time to realize that change was my biggest consistency, and that it, more than a lot of the things I wanted and dreamed for, had come to define who I was as an individual.
Which brings me to where I am now. After living in Singapore for five months, I, for perhaps the first time in my adult life, made the consciouses choice to facilitate the specific change that I have been fighting my whole life against. And now I am sitting here, once again in Utah of all places, knowing full well that I chose to be here, I chose to pick up and leave. And I didn't dread it. I didn't resent it. I wanted it. And I wanted it bad.
Who knows? Maybe my lack of landedness has create a monster I will never be able to rid myself of. Maybe change will really haunt me all my life. But then again, maybe change will be the shade that makes life worth living.

Video Experimentation

2008-10-21T09:30:00.004-07:00

This is from a couple of months ago when we as a family experienced the real Asia. Meaning we got to watch mostly naked guys pour gasoline down their throats and dance around like drunken, hot, idiots.

This is not really that interesting. But it does show me getting mad at Anna. And making weird faces.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

2008-10-13T18:29:00.006-07:00

I've been really lame lately. I forgot I had a blog. Crazy, I know. I seem to have forgotten the small pleasures I used to enjoy. Like blogging. Or sleeping. No just kidding. I am sleeping.

Today I started training at my new job. This consisted of me sitting in a chair for 7 hours and learning about HIPPA (in layman's terms the ultra trendy Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act)...It's as interesting as it sounds. Trust me! I also got to sign my name on about 30 forms. My signature now resembles the chicken scratch often used by doctor's, professor's, President Bush, and other overly important people.

In other exciting news, I had yet another job interview today. This one actually pays really well but its a long shot. The guy interviewing right after me was around 50. (Hint! The job is out of my league). Who knows though? I could get lucky. Maybe the 18 other people she is meeting with will all move. Or get pregnant. Or die. I'm a horrible person. I know.

And just in case anyone doesn't know this already, riding the public bus sucks. It more than sucks. It's traumatizing. Literally. I can't tell you how many times I have had to walk along the sides of some weird side road looking for the freaking bus sign, all the while trying to ignore the creepy cars that slow down, honk, etc when they get near. And it is even worse on the main road. Mostly because they are more cars and more people staring and molesting you with their toot toot horns and scary eyes.

Don't worry though. Very soon I will have a car. I'm thinking a black, shiny, Honda Civic.

My life as of....NOW!!!!!

2008-10-01T12:30:00.002-07:00

My life as of now consists of living in Provo, hanging with my peeps, walking A LOT, and applying for various and sundry jobs.
So far I have

gone on one job interview
scheduled another job interview
Gotten crazy sick
seen and hung out with some very cool people
Made muffins
worked on a puzzle
watched T.V.
went kickboxing
Went to a music festival
Went to a very skanky lingerie shop in Spanish Fork

I've done more than that I swear...those are just my top events. My highlights. My life. As of now.

And very soon I will have the Internet again. Yeah!!!!!!!

For Bond lovers

2008-09-20T03:47:00.005-07:00

I really hated James Bond growing up. Watching that guy hook up with all these ridiculously gorgeous girls wasn't really what I would term an enjoyable movie experience. Every female character could be placed into one of two categories: the backstabber, and/or the dead. Usually she is a backstabber who will become dead.

I still have many issues with the franchise, even after seeing the amazing movie Casino Royale (it was off the hook!....) last year. Props to Daniel Craig, who really pulled that movie out of the cinematic drain gutter. And to all those special effects people....and to Vespa or whatever her name was.

Anyway the point is the new movie Quantum of Solace (sounds good, but ultimately a rubbish film name...don't you think?) is coming out in November. And recently the theme song "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys was released to the public for their own listening pleasure. And pleasure it was. This song is really good. I just hope it won't outshine the movie it is linked to.

Listen to it....

http://stereogum.com/archives/new-jack-white-alicia-keys-another-way-to-die_022371.html?utm_source=bb&utm_medium=mc

News Worthy of Postage

2008-09-16T06:43:00.006-07:00

I was getting my daily dose of the New York Times today and found two op-ed articles that should be of interest to every American. This election is a very sensitive issue for me. My parents are voting McCain, as are (so far as I know), all of my grandparents. I wonder if any of them know of McCain's plan for revamping health care? I know I didn't. This article boggled my mind. I really had no idea...READ IT!!! And please don't make some lame excuse that the NY Times is a liberal news machine. This is way too important.

McCain's Radical Agenda by BOB HERBERT
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/16/opinion/16herbert.html?em

I also thought the following article was quite insightful. I agreed with it completely. I'm still trying to understand why others don't. By the way, this columnist is awesome...

Making America Stupid
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/opinion/14friedman.html?em

On a non-political yet still serious note, Richard Wright, member of Pink Floyd, died yesterday of cancer. This guy wrote "Us and Them" and "The Great Gig in the Sky," arguably two of PF's best songs. RIP Wright. Your stuff will forever live on in my itunes library.

SNL Skit- Palin and Clinton

2008-09-15T17:17:00.002-07:00

Moving

2008-09-14T18:59:00.002-07:00

I will, on the 24th of September, be flying back to the States. And where am I going? Well, Provo, Utah of course. A little surprising considering all I wanted to do was get away from there, but I figure I'll give it another go. And if I hate it again, well that's fine. There's nothing holding me in the bubble. It is escapable...right?

Anyway, I'll be looking for a part-time or full-time job so I can make money while I work on Grad school prep and my Peace Corps application. I figure I'll start going for both things and if they both work out, great! I'll have more options. Anyone have any GRE advice? Study materials they're not using anymore?

August Book Reviews

2008-09-12T07:47:00.011-07:00

I am getting very lazy. Hence, these very short reviews consist the entirety of my effort towards reviewing my August books.

The Road

by Cormac McCarthy

5/5

McCarthy is a genius. I should have known this already, when I saw No Country for Old Men, but it didn't click. It did with this book. Read it before the movie (starring Viggo Mortensen) comes out later in the year. The book is a long detail of fear and apocalypse, starvation and brutality, but also a love story of family, loyalty and persistence. It is the ultimate survival tale. And it won the Pulitzer.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

4/5

If your looking for a very fast read, this is it. It reminds you how hard it was during those teenage years. This coming of age story is refreshingly raw. And is not filled with lame alliterations either... And, to tell the truth, I liked Charlie (the protagonist) more than I ever liked Holden Caulfield.

Their Eyes Were Watching God

by Zora Neale Hurston

5/5

Autonomy. Male/Female Relations. Race. Black Folk Tradition. God. Spirituality. Love. Death. Power. The American South. This book has it all. The writing is amazing, the story is amazing, the characters are amazing. This book is literary and accessible. Meaning: everyone can and should read this.

Salem Falls

and

Plain Truth

by Jodi Picoult

3.5/5 for both

I really enjoy Jodi Picoult novels. She is one of my guilty reading pleasures. I was hooked in high school, when I read The Pact, and then again recently when I picked up my sister's copy of My Sister's Keeper. Salem Falls and Plain Truth, the two more recent books I read, were addictingly good, although I am noticing many similarities between her various novels. Expect each book to include a controversial/hidden issue brought to light, a town/family torn apart, a trial, a lawyer and his/her love interest, and lots of drama. I recommend checking any of her novels out if your looking for easy reads. My favorite was My Sister's Keeper. Although make sure to read it with a box of tissues at hand.

Wicked

by Gregory Maguire

3/5

So I know I already blogged about Wicked. But I did so before I read the actual bonafide book. Which, I have to admit, was pretty disappointing. Creative it was, enjoyable it was not. Elphaba (the 'wicked' witch) is made into a kind of freakish anarchist with a skin deformity. I actually really liked her, right up until she is post-Fiyero. Her character, and the story, go rapidly downhill from there. I felt like the author had so many great ideas, but could bring little, if any, of them to fruition. Really the only parts in the novel worth reading concern Melena, Elphaba's mother, and Elphaba's college years (where the nature of good vs. evil is first brought up). Maguire brings up many good questions for readers to ponder on, but he fails to provide any kind of concrete solution we can grasp onto. This probably was purposeful, (by nature of the time period he is a Post-Modernist) but all would be better equipped to answer life's questions if one picked up a copy of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics instead of Maguire's Wicked.

Breaking Dawn

by Stephenie Meyer

4.5/5

Wow, didn't see that one coming! Honestly, I can't say a lot about this book without giving stuff away. So don't read further if you don't want to know. OK so definitely the most crazy twist was the whole pregnancy/death/vampire baby thing. I mean, what was that? Don't get me wrong, I loved the baby. But some things that bothered me were:

1. When did Bella suddenly become mother of the
year? She went from hating marriage stereotypes to wanting a child and loving being married in like 2 seconds.
2. Did anyone else notice the lack of fatherly affection Edward displayed for his new offspring?
3. The whole connection between the baby and Jacob was a little too convenient. What, suddenly every romantic feeling Bella had for Jacob and vice versa is gone?

Those are really my three main problems with this book. What I loved most about it is that Bella ceased to be a pathetic girl always needing to be saved by various men. I love vampire Bella more than I ever did her weaker human version. Kudos to Meyer for finally allowing Bella to save herself...

"The sarcasm is rich"...

2008-09-12T01:22:00.004-07:00

I admit it, I'm a complainer. I know this because everyone (and I mean everyone) seems to know I'm currently having a hard go at life. I, of course, was to first to know this, but it doesn't fail to tickle my emotional validation bone when other people tell me how bad and how hard my life is. All it takes is for me to hear one one post-graduation nervous breakdown narrative and I am happy for at least 15 minutes. These tales of woe and rejection offer me proof that I am at least handling this better than some people. I am not the sorriest loser on the block, nor am I most lamentable. And this is good, especially when your self-esteem is shot and your will to work nonexistent.

Really though, to all those currently worried about my sanity, it is well intact, I can assure you. If you don't believe me, read the above paragraph. No one can retain that much sarcasm and dry wit when they're crazy. Jack Nicholson was, after all, the only sane person in Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. And he was very funny. See what I mean?...

I am doing fine. I am at peace with the imminent move, though I don't yet have the answers to where I will be going or what I will be doing. I do know that I have crazy cool and good friends and family, and really what else does a person need? (very little sarcasm there, I swear...) OK, so I do kind of need a job. And money. Easy peesy, lemon squeezy. Right?

PS: Do I really need to explain the reference of my title? Look it up.

Being Blonde...

2008-09-10T00:32:00.005-07:00

I was bored the other day (surprising I know...) so Anna and I decided to dye our hair. I'm still not sure if I like mine. It was supposed to be an ash colored blonde but I guess there is still too much red in my hair...Anyway, I've decided to leave it for now and see how I feel in a couple of weeks. Right now I'm not sure being blonde is all its cracked up to be.

A tribute

2008-09-09T20:26:00.003-07:00

I love my family and friends. Ever since I announced that I am moving to the States and am clueless as to where to live or even how to live, I have had many, many beautiful, generous people offer their homes and support to me. Humankind's ability for love and kindness amazes me, it really does. Sometimes I forget about all the good in this world, as I'm sure we all do from time to time. There really is more good than we can recognize. And that is definitely something I've learned over the past couple of weeks. So thanks. To my truly amazing family and friends. You guys really do make me feel like we are all in this together.

The Big move to....where?

2008-09-06T04:00:00.003-07:00

I realized I haven't written lately about anything actually going on in my life. There were many reasons for this. Mainly, I was going through a hard time emotionally. If anyone else has at some point in their life spent a good deal of time on a job hunt, they understand what I'm talking about. I never knew it would be so hard. And I'm not talking about actually finding a job. I'm talking about figuring out what job you want and where to go to find it. The how is important, we all know this. But I've found it a little easier to answer than the other two.

A couple of days ago I found out that I am going to have to leave the country. One, because I'm only on a tourist's visa, and two, because that tourist's visa is preventing me from getting any valuable work here in Singapore. I never thought the technical side of moving to a country where one is not a citizen would be so difficult to figure out. A word to the wise for anyone who is thinking of moving to a foreign country for work--get the job secured before you move there. Believe me, this is important!

The conclusion of this whole Singapore job experience has been coming on for about a month. I begin to feel I'm not supposed to be here. That its not good for me to be here. That I need to leave. I had pretty much given up my job hunt. I made one last half-hearted attempt at my search when I applied for an internship which I actually really did want (once I found out what I would be doing). The sorry end came when I was informed I couldn't get the internship because I was a foreigner, and they didn't want to fill a spot that a Singaporean could rightly take. I wasn't angry. It actually made sense. But I knew it was over.

So now here I am, ready to leave and yet reluctant to go. The biggest question on my mind is where? And how? With my resources at an all time low, I am very limited in my options. That still hasn't made it any easier for me to decide. How do you chose something when your prevented from seeing the ending?

I know to a certain extent what I want. I would love to work as a writer or an editor or even in public relations for a publishing, media, or creative company. And I would love suggestions from anyone who knows about a publishing company or knows someone who works for/in a profession similar to the above description.

Any advice is good advice, especially coming from all my smart family and friends! So please, bring it on, anything! Please...

I so called this...

2008-09-03T19:01:00.004-07:00

Check out this new video from Obama supporters. The video features music from the National, who you can read about a few bloggings back. And like I said before, change is the golden election word in 2008. And Obama is the golden man...

Beck's Modern Guilt

2008-09-01T20:10:00.005-07:00

Beck. They are rockin hot. I know this because even my uncool dad has two of their albums. Now I never got into Odelay (1996) which is supposed to be prime Beck material. I did, however, become particularly obsessed with Sea Change (2002). The album is brilliant. If you haven't yet experienced it, please do. The year it was released it was given five stars by Rolling Stone, a feat that Stones readers know, it next to impossible. It was one of only two albums that year to receive the highest music mag honor. (The other album, incidentally, was Springsteen's The Rising, recipient of that year's Rock Album of the Year Grammy).

Lately, I have been sampling Modern Guilt (2008) a very traditional, Beck-esque album. Translation: Beck fans will go ga-ga and sell their pinky fingers for a copy. For me it lies in between the caffefinated and chaotic Guero and tranquilized "this is your brain on drugs" Sea Change. And, as a on again, off again Beck lover, this album makes me shiver with delight and itch to press mute. I give the album 4/5.

Disjointed music bouts are never really good, even on youtube. Which may be the only reason why I am hesitant to give these guys music God status (i.e. the perfection that is 5) for creating Modern Guilt. But don't listen to me. Listen to them and decide for yourself. The first track is "Chemtrails" the second "Orphans".

Ronstock '08

2008-08-31T03:56:00.004-07:00

Ever heard of Ronstock 08? How about libertarian Ron Paul? He is becoming a very interesting individual...read and look on.

Ron Paul followers gathering for own convention... (Ass. Press Article)

Living in Utah during primary time I saw flyer's, posters and people heralding the Ron Paul Revolution. Whether you admire the guy or think he's a political joke, the guy's got style.

Check out his theme song by Aimee Allen, called appropriately the Ron Paul Anthem (I think).

The Republican's are getting desperate

2008-08-30T04:49:00.004-07:00

I'm sure everyone has heard by now McCain's pick for VP. What a shocker right? Well yeah, in a way. But considering all that is happened during this election so far, not so much.

Let's consider the facts: McCain is really, really, really old. Sorry McCain fans, but he is. This election cycle is about change. Nothing else is as important as this one clear cut and oft repeated message. McCain is the familiar face in congress. He is a hard, seasoned politician. Which is quite obvious I know. But this time around, this quality, what you could call experience, longevity, whatever, is not an asset. Right now, experience makes voters nervous, it makes them wonder, what if its not different this time around? What if a McCain administration is really just a proverbial third term for GW? Obama, in his DNC speech, poked fun of McCain for this very thing. What is different about McCain and Bush?

Which is why he needed to pick a wild card as his VP. His campaign needed an uplift. That uplift is a woman, a mother of five, an Alaskan, and an inexperienced politician. I think McCain is either being extremely smart or very, very stupid. I know of a couple staunch Republicans who are already protesting his choice.

"I can't believe he picked a woman!"
"An Alaskan?"
"What was he thinking when he chose her?"
"Jeez, I guess VP doesn't mean as much as it used to"
... and so on and so forth.

What ever the case, he cannot turn back. The cards are on the table. And that all important message of change, chronicled now by both campaigns, is coming, regardless of who ultimately is victorious.

Tidal District

2008-08-28T21:24:00.005-07:00

Tidal District is a recently formed band from Dublin. To tell you the truth these guys don't even have a full album out yet, only a few singles and one EP titled 'Hold the Party Line'. But these guys a good. Be some of the first to check them out. Go to their myspace page and listen to some tracks there. I guess their single "Aces" was quite popular in Ireland. It's actually not my favorite track of theirs, but at least it gives you a sampling of their sound.

The National

2008-08-28T01:47:00.004-07:00

One of the few bands I've come across that sounds both refreshing and comfortingly familiar all at once. Their Sound is mellow and dark, with a pounding and yet subtle tempo. Faint traces of a violin or a trumpet sound out and blend together amid all the organized chaos of the drums and guitars. This band really knows what the soul sounds like. The highlight of it all is lead vocalist Matt Berninger's baritone voice. Jeez this guy will give you the chills he is so good. His voice is what will pull you in, but its their blending of every sound into their cohesive discography that will hook you for life. Their lyrics, their sound, both are so artistically and emotionally aware that you feel like your watching a really good art house movie that you never want to end and fortunately, never will.

Their most recent album Boxer is pure music magic. Every track is good. And believe me, I know how rare that is to find. A few of my favorites are Slow Slow, Green Gloves, Ada...who am I kidding? I like them all!

If you're a fan of Lollapalooza or of live stuff, go here to listen to their performance at the festival just a few weeks back.

Check out this music video for their single "Fake Empire".

Another non-musical plus: These guys designed Obama t-shirts and are selling them online to go towards his november campaign. Way cool in my eyes!

"Were it not for music, we might in these days say, the Beautiful is dead."

~Benjamin Disraeli

Music my love...

2008-08-28T00:26:00.004-07:00

I loovvve music!!! It's always surprising to me when people are shocked either by how much I love or know about music or about what I listen to. I've never been in the music "scene", I don't play any instruments and I'm completely tone deaf. But I have to admit, at times in my life I have been completely obsessed with music. I mean to the point where I'm listening to it more than I'm doing anything else. But yes, I guess I don't seem like a music person. I think I did more when I was younger, you know when you have to dress and act the part you are playing to the world.

Lately I've felt like I'm loosing that feeling, (not the loving one...haha) that all-encompassing need for sound, and not just any sound but good sound. Beautiful sound. I know I still have it though because really good music still gives me goosebumps. It still makes me feel the things it once did, way back when life was simpler and music did mean almost everything.

Case it point: My first year of college, still encased in my music groupie identity, (I don't know what else to call it) I wrote my final essay for my English class on music. That thing was almost 10 pages long and I had never loved writing anything so much in my life. I still love that paper. Not because it is good writing (its quite wide-eyed and mediocre) but because I wrote it with the feeling of music in my words. (I swear I'm not making this up. Einstein said he thought and daydreamed in music. In fact, he is often quoted saying "I see my life in terms of music"!) I was in the zone. And believe me, the zone is hard to find. Not often do words, at least for me, come so easily, and keep coming, almost without hesitation. Anyway it was great. I highly recommend writing about the things you really care about often. It's pretty addicting.

Now I am so bogged down by life that I feel like outside sound is only meant to distract me from my purpose, my discovery of my wants and desires, my career goals and my financial woes. All of it is overwhelming, so much so that along the way I have forgotten why I am so down. Its not because I am bogged down with decisions, although that is part of it. I've found its more to do with the fact that I'm neglecting most the loves in my life. My three big loves, well okay four. Friends. Music. Men. Books. Friends are of course a big love. I need to call more, make an effort more. Music, hello what have I been blogging about? Men, also very self-explanatory, although slightly embarrassing. And books. I need to read more of the things that matter, the things that change your world-view, that teach you more about life than any single class or test ever could.

I need to remember how all of these things make me so much happier than I am without them. So thanks. To my friends, who mean everything, and I really do mean it. To the artists who are so brilliant and talented and who have changed my life. And to all those men, and I mean all of them, who have given me some uh interesting experiences, both good and bad. I'll stop there before it gets too scary.

And that just sounded like I was writing my own acknowledgements page. Sorry about that. Read all my music posts and seriously check them out. You never know, they might change your life too.

A Horde of Career Tests

2008-08-26T18:14:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I spent about 6 hours taking career tests. If you don't know what those are, they are all a little different... Basically, the tests attempt to distinguish you as a certain type of personality, worker, or interest group, and then based on that assumption they point you towards careers you will both be good at AND enjoy. I thought I'd impart the knowledge I learned onto you all.

The most helpful test I found was The Princeton Review's Career Test. Go to this site and give them your email, make up a password, and then search for the test under the career sidebar. They give you two separate results: your interest color and your usual style (all will be explained...). Both of mine turned out to be blue. The best part is they give you a list of potential careers and all are linked to a lot of info about each, including sections like a day in the life, facts and figures, graduate programs, quality of life, etc.

Another one that's really good is based around John Holland's theory, which basically says that people and work environments can be classified into six different groups (realistic, social, investigative, artistic, enterprising, and conventional). I took it here (which isn't a test you have to guess yourself which combo you would be) because I didn't want to pay. If you want to take the real test, take it here.

The third and last is more fun than anything. Its Carolyn Kalil's True Colors Test. This one, obviously, is another color based test and I thought it was very precise. I was green, which I was very happy about (I always seem to get blue on these color tests).

What is your city?

2008-08-25T04:17:00.006-07:00

Lately I've been searching for the answers to A LOT of life's most difficult questions. Today my search was purely geographical. Where in the world do I want to live? If anyone has some free time, I highly recommend this site, called Find Your Spot. It asks you a series of questions and then gives you 25 cities (limited to the U.S.) that fit your specific preferences. It's very cool and I know you're dying to do it.

Here were my top 10 cities to live:

Portland, Oregon
Honolulu, Hawaii
Baltimore, Maryland
Corvallis, Oregon (Whitney!!!! haha. I guess it really is a great town)
Ventura, California
Santa Barbara, California
Eugene, Oregon
Norfolk, Virginia
Palo Alto, Calfornia
Valencia, California

Don't ask me why there are so many Oregon cities. I have no clue, having never been there.

FYI- I'd love to know your favorite city, whether its somewhere you've lived or visited.

Change? A House Undivided? No longer...

2008-08-24T01:55:00.003-07:00

I am a little more than ashamed. Most of you who know me think of me (I hope) as a very politically-attuned person. Meaning, I actually care about politics. I know shocking, especially considering the level of cynicism in our great, free, and democratic nation. So when I realized last night (as a certain announcement was made, see below) that I had not posted once about politics or history, or the race for the white house, or even about how much I both love and love to hate out current political system I was appalled! What kind of blogger did I think I was/am?
Ergo the following post....Ahem.

Last night, all the while pestering Anna to turn the T.V. back to CNN and NOT to Olympics volleyball (the final), we watched as what I was waiting for was revealed. Barack Obama's running mate/VP pick is ..................................................................................................... ................................. ................Joe Biden! (It felt that long to me too...) The secret has been revealed, the eggs are out of the basket. You're probably saying 'who cares' (Christina) or even more likely 'who the heck is Joe Biden?? (everyone else)'

I have to admit. I was just a little disappointed by the reveal. The guy seems great at all. But I was hoping that Obama stuck to his change mantra.

Sarcasm alert! Apparently, metaphors speak louder than actions. I'm referring, if you haven't guessed yet (OK you probably haven't) to the fact that Obama made his announcement in the Springfield, Illinois courthouse where Lincoln once made his famous "A House Divided" speech. (Lincoln was referring to the biblical passage found in Matthew that reads "A house divided against itself cannot stand") At the time, the country was severed geographically (North and South) and ideologically (Free vs. Slave ). I knew Obama had chosen the spot because it signified the official beginning of the war against slavery/for freedom in America.

I had hoped that the locale meant he was also going to take the ultimate step in fighting the war against political and ideological separation, not, as I said before, through words, but through actions. For me, this meant that he would pick a candidate to run with him from across the party line. Yes, I had hoped he would choose to run with a Republican. Shocking, I know! But, Biden? Who has been a Democratic senator since my mom was 8 and my dad 13! That is a LONG time. Believe me... Don't get me wrong. He seems like a great guy. He's smart, old, and experienced. But when did that ever signify change? And when did the fact that he agrees with Obama in party affiliation (and on most issues) ever embody political gap narrowing?

I'm interested to see how the two interact, what Biden can bring to the table (I hope a great deal), and whether or not the final race will bring out the big, bad, Obama wolf . (if it exists?)

Disclaimer: No. This doesn't mean I will vote for McCain, even if he picks a Democratic running mate, which he won't. It just means I wish Obama was more Obamaesque. And it means that he is no longer above playing party politics, at least in my eyes.

What color is YOUR parachute?

2008-08-20T03:04:00.003-07:00

I wouldn't call the last couple of months the highlight of my life. They would, rather, reside near the bottom on my life history's list of good times. Job hunting is NOT fun and does NOT make you feel better about yourself. I have learned a few things in the past ten weeks though.

First: College is not the real world. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it resembles it in any way.

Second: College will teach you about the real world, but not how to survive in it. This involves Josie B. Student learning all about current events, international problems, philosophical implications, empirical evidence, and scientific reasoning. It does not, however, involve a study of the job market, how to find a job, or even where or how to start.

Third: A degree is worth less than your real world expertise. Sadly, knowing how to go about securing a job will help a lot more than that beloved degree. Paper is less effective than personality. That's just how it is. People don't choose to hire you because of your resume.

So how do you go about learning all this real world stuff? Well, for one, you learn learn by failing. All those unsuccessful attempts at landing a job teach you what not to do. I highly recommend this path if your looking for a long and tortuous professional and personal hell. Or if your a masochist. Either or.

If that, however, does not sound appealing to you, I would go for the second option. Learn from another expertise and success how to find a job the right way. And learn it before you graduate. There are many ways to go about doing this. I, not surprisingly, chose to read a book.

That book is Richard Nelson Bolles' What Color is Your Parachute?: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. I just started the book today and I have already learned a lot! Here are some pearls I have gleaned from my perusal:

College/High School fails to teach you the three essential life skills.

How to choose and find a job.
How to choose and find an appropriate partner/husband/wife.
How to think and how to make good decisions.

It takes, on average, 18 weeks to find a job in America. That is over four months!
Some are the worst ways to go about finding a job include using the Internet (4% success rate), mailing resumes to employers at random (7%) and answering local newspaper ads (14%).
Some of the best ways are asking for job-leads from family, friends, and contacts (33% are successful), knocking on the door of any employer that interests you (47%), using the phone books yellow pages employers of interest residing in the city you want to work, and then calling to ask if they're hiring for a position you can do well (69%).
The best way to find a job, according to the author, is by doing a life-changing job-hunt. This includes doing homework on yourself before even beginning the job search. It involves learning the WHAT, WHERE and HOW.
What are the skills you most enjoy using. That does NOT mean those you are good at.
Where: Imagine you are a flower. Every flower has an environment where it does best. Where would your flower thrive, in a professional sense?
How to get where you want to go. This is perhaps the most difficult question.
If done thoroughly (again according to Bolles) this has a 86% success rate.

I'm working on #1 right now. After making a huge list of verbs detailing things I can and can't do, I found about 15 that I both do well and love doing (the second part is essential):

Discovering
Learning
Questioning
Writing
Analyzing
Interpreting
Investigating
Traveling
Reading
Informing
Examining
Creating
Playing
Listening
Conceptualizing
Reviewing
Researching

I know most are pretty abstract, but they are meant to be. The practical comes in when you figure out how to consolidate these skills/interests into a real world job.

I haven't gotten that far yet. But I hope to, as I hope some part of this very long post helped or interested you in some small way. Cheers!

My obsession with Russian Lit

2008-08-19T17:57:00.003-07:00

I love Russian Literature! So when I read a couple of weeks ago that Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (see Biography) had died I was just a little sad. This guy was a true life hero. He, like many during Russia's infamous purges, was thrown into prison for defaming Stalin (he called him "the whiskered one"...I know shocking!). The guy spent 8 years in Russian labour camps or gulags. If that wasn't bad enough, he was diagnosed with cancer while there. During his exile following his release, Solzhenitsyn wrote and published his first book, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, his masterpiece. For it he received the Nobel Prize in 1970, an honor that was short lived. In 1974 he was formally stripped of his citizenship and forced to leave indefinitely. He would not be allowed to return to his beloved home until the collapse of Soviet Union in 1994.

We read the above novel for my Russian Lit class my last semester. It was the last book we read, a fitting end to what was a very dark set of novels. If you have read any Russian literature, you probably know what I mean. Not often does one expect to find happy ending. Reading Russian lit is tortuous, it really is. So why read it? Because, I would counter, life is tortuous. Sometimes our lives don't end happily. The hero in real life does not always make it out alive. Good does not always trump the bad. I wrote the following in my reading journal about the experience of reading Russian lit:

Russian literature does not ignore the dirty, cold, and horrible; instead it embraces them and acknowledges them as a legitimate and often ignored reality. In so doing, even it (and by that I mean all the dirty, cold, and horrible) becomes art, worthy of some form of aesthetic beauty and grandeur.

My particular reaction to One Day in the Life was much the same.

The thing that struck me more than anything else was the constant sense of fear that pervaded the novel. To live a life of fear is perhaps one of the most horrible things that I can imagine...
It seems so brutal to me, so demeaning, that the only choice one makes, and that the only living one does is surrounded by the fear of death. This fear makes a person obsessed with life, with just surviving...Such a life is demeaning because we lose what makes us human. We become our fear, and that alone is the only thing that survives.
Solzhenitsyn experienced the cold, dirty, and the horrible. He described what it was like to live with the constant fear of death surrounding every action and reaction, every decision, controlling every emotion. I didn't know what that feels like. But, in a small way, I do understand now what it must be like. And that is what makes this book, and others like it, semblances of a more experientially connected life.

"Remember, there is such a thing as good and evil."
"How can you expect a man who's warm to understand a man who's cold?"
"You can have power over people as long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power."